Marriage Questions – If my husband cheats several times, can we save the marriage?
March 11th, 2010
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We have been together for 4 years. It turns out he has cheated on me with eight different several times each. He says that will change. Can I trust that he will? I love him so much, and I want it to work, but I don’t know if he is telling the truth that he will change. He sounds sincere.. I am just confused.
Best Answer: The question isn’t “Can we save this marriage?” it is WHY SAVE THIS MARRIAGE? Your married to a dog, own it and MOVE ON!
- 8 different women. OMG
Toss him to the curb adn find someone that is faithful and will follow the vows they have taken
- Denial is not just another name for a river… Wake up!! Are you that whipped, to be so damn lame!! Listen to yourself lady, for Pete sake!! Eight different times??!!! Save what? Ask your self what is left??? Intimacy?? Not!!, he is getting that else where.. Faithfulness?? Go figure.. Truthfulness??Guess not huh.. You can’t go on telling yourself he loves you and he will change. If he was going to change you wouldn’t be asking this question. I would divorce him.. Or, if not… You can be his little pee on, wind up living on drugs to fight you HIV, and possibly be in so much pain because of your herpes, all because you love him so much.. Think about it, get your self down and get tested and move on with your life or fatally re-enact Romeo and Juliet..
- i know a lot of womens who just close the eyes in this situation…people never change!
- In my opinion, I have been there too, If you dont have trust, you have nothing, you are not helping yourself if you are doubting him. A marriage needs to build on trust, he broke that, and you need to find peace. There is only one way to be at peace, by allowing God to lead your life, it works, all you have to do is invite Jesus into your heart, and He will lead the way….He is love….may God give you wisdom…in Jesus mighty name…..amen
- If he’s cheated several times, he’s a serial cheater and the cheater has everything to do with him and nothing to do with your relationship. It will not end. Move on.
- Once can be a mistake.
Twice… well… probably not.
If this is the first time you’ve caught him at it and that you’ve talked about it, I’d give him one more chance. Make it very clear to him that this is the only second chance that he will get.
If he screws it up again, leave, and don’t look back.
- a cheater once, a cheater always.
- Why would you want to be with someone who had cheated on you 8 times? That should tell you enough already. If it was once that would be different, but 8 times? I doubt very much he will change. If you want to be in a faithful relationship then you would be better finding someone else who respects and appreciates the same. I learned a long time ago that no amount of wanting makes someone else change. Best wishes
xx - no he wont change i been through it you have to decide if you still wanna stay or leave
- You’re confused alright! Get the hell away from him! How many times does he have to cheat before you realize he doesn’t love you? Doesn’t matter if you love him or not!! You’re going to stand for this?? Does it not matter how he feels about you? Only how you feel about him??? If you stay, then you get what you deserve!!
- sounds like a serial cheater. get out now.
- 1. Change locks on your house
2. File for divorce
3. Have yourself checked for Sexually Transmitted Diseases, including HIV - Eight times… that’s eight times closer to a STD. Do you want HIV? Stick around. Get some self respect and leave this creep.
- Apparently, you love your husband so much that you are willing to insulate yourself from the reality of the situation.
Newsflash: Your love is NOT ENOUGH to force a man to change his ways.
A man must be willing to acknowledge his acts and then make serious changes to his lifestyle to avoid cheating again.
Further, if you validate his cheating by remaining with him, what is his incentive to change?
- Well you know the caying once a cheater always a cheater. But if it has only happend one time then everyone deserves a second chance but if he keeps doing it then chances are that he will never quit.
- The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It’s easy for a liar to sound sincere but you have to look truth in the eye. He is a cheater! That is a deal breaker! You cannot trust him now or ever. You are loving what you WISH he were like, not what he is. Get away from him; grieve the loss of what could have been; and start over. There’s nothing but misery and hurt with a partner who will cheat and lie to you.
- If he’s cheated on you that many times already, there’s a good chance he’ll never change. I would suggest you go to counseling and find out the reason why he’s cheating. If he’s really serious about changing, I would say he’s going to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. If he doesn’t want to go to counseling, I would start looking for a good lawyer. Good Luck!
- 8 times he’s cheated and you want to know if your marrige can be saved? Any marrige can be saved if both key word being “BOTH” you & your spouse want it to work.
- Honey…..8 Times? He will not change. Deep down you must know this. I know your heart and love gets in the way, but once a cheater…ALWAYS a cheater!! good luck sweetie!!
- 8 TIMES in 4 YEARS! Hell no! Stop being stupid, he’s done this 8 times already. How many more times does it take for you to see that this man is a habitual cheater and womanizer? I would’ve been in a divorce lawyers office 7 cheats ago.
- I would say no with a 99% uncertainty. Give or take 1%.
He sounds sincere – I’m sure he does. He obviously is skilled in manipulating women. Eight girlfriends plus you in four years? This guy is obviously much more skilled in the art of con than I.
I just shake my head when nice guys like me can’t find a good woman to marry (I did eventually) but idiots like your husband can get them by the truckload.
You are a fool to do anything other than call a divorce lawyer. - Counseling. He needs it, you need it together to re-build the trust.
If he is willing to go, maybe he is sincere. If he wont go, he probably isnt, and you should leave before he brings home a disease.
- 8 different women several times each in 4 yrs. If you think he’s going to change your kidding yourself. That’s my opinion.
- You are living a nightmare. Get out now. He will not change. You loving him is not enough. You deserve better!!!!!!!!! You are married to a liar, a thief for stealing your life and trust, and cheat. You are not loosing anything. God bless you and good luck. Move on before he ruins your life even more.
- a cheater once, a cheater always.
- 8 times??? I would have killed(not literally) my husband. DTMF.
- No, he doesn’t even know the meaning of marriage.
- oh no no no no no….don’t let him do this to you..been there done that and am now divorced. Yeah he will change but from one woman to another. LOVE? ok what is love to you. Cheating or being faithful? Look at it this way. Do you want to live your life not being able to trust him? now stop being so naive and move on with your life. No he wont change and no things won’t work out. Go out and meet new people and fall out of love with this man cause obviously he doesn’t love you. You cannot save a marriage after eight times several times each sweetie. CAn you sleep with him without thinking about the other women he’s slept with? Can you stand the fact that he goes out withou you and you sit there wondering where he’s at and wiht who? Can you you live everyday of your life with him without bringing it up that he cheated on you eight times or more? Can you hear him say I Love You and believe it? Can you have sex him with out wondering if he had sex with someone else before you? Are you really happy?…..I bet you said No to all of the above and if you have it’s time to move on..it’s not a bad thing to be divorced and be happy…It’s alot better then being married an unhappy…and if you said yes to any of the questions then you need phsycological help.
- eight times to cheat in such a short time married……..i hate to say it but it takes more than your love for him to make this marriage work. he has to have the respect and love for YOU to make it work. and that means no cheating what so ever. i don’t think he can change unless he gets some serious therapy. you have to ask yourself if you are willing to stay in a relationship with someone you can not trust. are you willing to put yourself through that kind of stress? good luck
- Yes, if you can completely get that picture of him in bed with another woman out of your head. Otherwise, I suggest you love someone new.