Do you still love and wish you were still married to, or there was hope to stay married to, your (ex) spouse? Or, was/is divorce the right answer and you are/will be happier?
I am happy that my marriage has new hope after thinking it was over. We went all the way up to having the final divorce decree drafted. We both love each other and don’t want the divorce. Now we are going to go to a different marriage counselor and fight for our marriage. I think that if you believe in something and love someone deeply enough, you should never give up hope or trying.
Best Answer: Sounds like you have a chance to pull through…wow…2 tough people…….
Hind sight is 20/20 years later, all the what ifs, and etc.
We all change as we age and mature with life’s experiences and hopefully a marriage can flow along with these changes.
It’s when the sharp shards enter the picture and resolutions cannot be found, whether it be stubbornness, selfishness or whatever and 2 people’s love and care for each other head to the back burner. Then troubles start flourishing like spring flowers, wilting, and drying up and sowing the seeds of even a bigger crop of flowers. Then couples loose the vision of what they originally had that brought them together and things start feeling regretful and become wrathful…..then down the slippery slope to the pit of divorce.
Marriage takes work, and the will of 2 participants to make it work. One sided-ness makes the vehicle lean too far to one side and resentment and negativity begins to grow.
I think most folks today think a marriage is a “perfect thing” and the littlest bump in the road sends them quickly to the divorce court, without the “slightest clue” that this experience and outcome will be far more damaging and devastating then working out simple marriage issues most couples have.
But, sometimes this is the only recourse and it will open your sleepy eyes to what a marriage really “is” if you can be truly honest with yourself.
- happier, but occasionaly I think it would have been nice to retire with the same person……..you married. but if it doesnt work out just move on it will never get any better……
See my point is that my ex got really lazy and wouldn t wana have sex with me . He would havebeen a nice old man to retire with after I turn 65 but not now. I dont need his ****** up attitude and coldnes.s
- All that you say is simply wonderful. However, please ALWAYS keep in mind…..that it takes 2 to make a marriage work!
- when only one person is working on a relationship, let alone a marriage, it will never work. You only end up exhausted, frustrated, miniscule, to say the least. you start resenting the person you once loved with all of your being, and rebel…
“fighting” for the marriage will bring victory, only if both parties’ hearts are in it… otherwise, the person who’s solely in the battle, fights in vain.
hope will be there for a while, and then you start to realise that fairy tales and happily-ever-afters are merely stories. it will take a lot of tears, sleepless nights, self-hate, emptiness and lonliness before you can feel like yourself again.
And if you’re lucky, you’ll be a stronger person than you were when you met them… and if you’re not, well, then, your therapist will get richer in the process….
- my ex was more interested in booze reliving her teenage yrs and getting on welfare so no i don’t miss her at all
- I was in a very similar situation. I’ve now been divorced almost a year. Based on what you described, I would guess that if you do get divorced, you will be questioning yourself for a long time about whether you did the right thing or could have done something else. I do every day and I miss her every day. Does that mean I made a mistake? I don’t know. I hate the term “tried harder”. I think it’s better to say, “tried something different.” If you really want to work on it, the two of you should be in joint counseling. The separate counseling was the end for us. Try reading “The Road Less Travelled”. Not specifically just for marriage, but for yourself.
- When a relationship is over it is always time to go. The idea of “saving” a marriage is mostly bull. I have been married three times and divorced three times. It is usually the same every time. I think it is better to go separate ways and maybe save some of the friendship,… or not.
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert…
I’ve been struck by the purple lightning ohmgoodness!
watch it~!
You need to have seen the gay storm advertisement first to watch this… but i am curious if the Mormon church really funded the original? i hadn’t seen where the money came from 
Best Answer: Yeah, much of the funding for Prop. 8 came from the Mormons.
- lol, i really love his satirizations. .
My wife and I have been married for five years, and we can’t seem to trust each other. I feel it’s because of how we got together. We were friends in college, and kept the friendship after I married my first wife. In college, I always wanted to be with my friend, but she was involved with two other guys. When I got married, I was still thinking of being with her, and I believe I lacked the compassion to be a better husband for my wife which (I know) lead to our divorce. Before the divorce was final, I finally gained my friend’s heart, and 4 months after the divorce, we got married. Before our marriage, she had SEVERAL BAD relationships, and I was her shoulder. Now that we’re together, we can’t trust each other. And now, I received a wrong number call, & my wife heard my phone ring at 2am. I called the number back and I didn’t recognize the name or voice. I assumed it was a wrong number and I deleted it. My wife says I deleted it so she wouldn’t see who call. Help me understand my error
Best Answer: Marriages are always difficult. you have to always bear in mind that the two of you are different and that you have to compromise for all sorts of things. Not just in a marriage but in any relationship. My advise to you is to sit and have a one on one with your wife. tell her how you feel be honest with her. if you are not able to express yourself well, you can write a letter. Also if you wanna make this work alll you need to do is read up on stuff to help make your marriage work. here is a link that can provide you with some insight.
http://saveafailingmarriage.com/answers.…
- Go to marriage counseling ASAP.
Unless you both want to work at improving your relationship and on rebuilding the trust it needs, you will both be miserable…… and sooner or later end up splitting up.
Honesty is important in a marriage; so is trust and being able to talk things over. This incident with the weird phone call is just the tip of the iceberg…You should find out what is lying underneath this if you want to fix things.
Good luck.
- Don’t try to handle this yourselves – go to counseling. Maybe they can sift through this and figure out what you need to do. This is the bad thing about knowing each other so long and being married to other people before you got together. This marriage can be saved, but you are both going to have to work at this – good luck
- in a situation like this the best thing to do is communicate, let each other know that the past is the past, you chose each other for a reason. if you can’t work things out on your own i suggest marriage counseling, a third party has a way of helping you deal with things that you feel are too hard to discuss with one another or that you didn’t even know were there
- u are right the reasons u guys can’t trust each other is because how u guys got together.u both need to run to a marriage counselor and work on your problems. because without trust u are just roommates
- You can get a lot of great advice at www.survivinginfidelity.com. Take care sweetie.
- I agree, marriage counseling is a must. It provides a great non-biased third person to the problem. Good luck!
- oh what a tangled web we weave…..get professional counseling, as it is probably your only hope.
- you didn’t do anything wrong. if she has been in several bad relationships before you i am sure that she is having a harder time trusting you because of those relationships. just sit her down and have a nice long talk with her. tell her that you understand that it’s going to take some time for her to trust you and you have always trusted her. tell her that you are here to help her trust you and if you were really cheating on her then you would have gotten more than one phone call. next time it’s a number that you don’t recognize have her answer it.
- Push everything else aside and deal with the one root of the problem – a lack of trust caused by a deep suspicion and guilt.
Talk to each other about this basic root issue, honestly and openly, before it grows and eats your marriage.
Don’t live in the past, don’t ever EVER look back and wish “if only I had done…..”……that’s sure fire suicide for your relationship.
Focus on the here and now. Stay together out of love and fix your trust issues by honest, humble and deep hearted communication, and give yourselves time to feel better too!
- Hmm hard issue trust. One of you is going to have to trust if not it just isn’t going to work . You must realize that jealousy walks hand and hand with love . There is a fine line between love and hate and you guys are kind of teetering there back and forth so one of you guys are going to have to put that extra inertia there and tip the balance . One of you is going to have to be happy in order for the other to be happy . One of you will have to put the jealousy aside for the other . As it is now you are bumping heads to see who is the liar or cheater . Stop competing for the winning spot lite . If nothing is going on then nothing is going on so stop thinking it is before you make it happen . Try smiling and trusting before you end up saying your goodbyes