I have been married for 12 years and have a 7 year old daughter. My wife came to me a couple weeks ago and asked for my permission to seek a relationship outside of our marriage. She has already had a 2 month relationship with this person and already planned vacations with him at the time of the request for permissions. How can I convince her that marriage is a sacred union and go with me to seek counselling.
Best Answer: I don’t think your wife even knows or respects the sanctity of marriage! I wonder why she got married in the first place! And I feel so sorry for your kid, who has a sorry excuse for a mom! Your wife is an adult and you can only try and reform her upto a certain point, not beyond. That’s why I think it’s best to just leave each other and move on if your attempts don’t work. You need to think of your kid too!
- lol Um.
You could of had a shot at saving your marriage until you gave her permission to have a sexual and emotional affair with another man.
I think its best you both move on now; if not for your daughters sake.
Kids aren’t stupid, she is probably more aware of things then you think.
- It sounds like theres more challenges in your marriage than this and if so this may be why she wont go to counseling as she doesnt believe your marriage can be saved. if thats the case its going to be nearly imposible to get her into counseling at this point. good luck
- I don’t think she even gets it, so just forget about her. Too bad you got a child with her, she (the child) doesn’t deserve this..
- You can’t if her mind set is what it is.
Most Christians would agree that sex (intercourse) should be saved for marriage. On the other hand, for example, i can’t imagine never kissing someone until you are married. How do you know where to draw the line?
Best Answer: Have wondered this, too. I think, though, that we know in our spirits when we go too far. I don’t know if it varies from person to person… I don’t suppose it would, really. But I don’t think kissing is wrong. Much beyond that, though, and I think the line is being crossed, yeah.
- You should be able to test the product you are getting or at least view it. Ladies what if the guy is 2inches no mater how much you pray that won’t change you stuck with baby ****!!!
Fellas what if she don’t give oral and is as stiff as a corpse your stuck with that.
the Bible marriages was based off of Man being a Virgin women being a virgin, How many of you on here getting married haved boned before? 85% of you! So go beat it if he been taking you out courting you and you met his family he buys you things and give you that ring you better give up some nookie and stop playing these B.C rules!
So sad some of you monkeys!
Peace!
- The whole deal about contact is that one thing leads to another and then you have intercourse when you really didn’t want to. Just be careful if you want to save it for marriage.
- I’m so glad I believe that chastity bit is stupid.
I would rather my daughters not be virgins when they marry, then to find out afterwards that their new husband has serious sexual issues. Sexual compatibility is essential to marriage.
- kissing isn’t sex, but can easily lead to it. So it is reasonable to draw the line to include or not. It’s up to your conscience.
- You don’t draw the line.
this is why more that 50% of all you so-called devout christains will end up in divorce. You don;t bother to find out if you’re sexually compatible.
- I think the line should be draw when you are about to finish.
- anything involving sex
is kissing sex?
i dont think so
- All of it.
- if its more than the tip its too much ..
- gracias por los 2 puntos
- Don’t draw the line. Would you buy a car without test driving it?
If two people are in love, they should express that love.
- “Sexual Contact”??
The Lenses.
Jesus loves “Test Drives”!!!
Experiences only please!
Best Answer: Dear Looney G,
Separation….. To be or not to be that is the question. If your thinking about leaving for a while or your wife, it means you probably don’t want to really be with that person. Count your losses now and move on. If your partner wants space after marriage, something is up and maybe it is a wake up call for you to move on.
Separation is okay when your just dating but after marriage, NO GOOD. This is were you or her will start dating or open the door to allow other people in your lives. NO GOOD. To many STD’s and you want to be in a marriage that sticks together through thick and thin. You don’t want to be with someone who is not mature enough to be there during the good and bad times. MOVE ON.
Sorry but maybe now is a good time to think about moving on. You can not afford to be with someone who is not stable and consistent in a relationship and wanting to separate for a little time is a red flag.
- sometimes putting space between you and your spouse could be helpful for a while — it gives a person time to think.
if you do get back together, learn to communicate in a positive way. if marriage counseling is what it takes, then do it.
i hope things work out…
- It depends on the reasons for the separation. Most of the time it is used as Step 1 towards a divorce.
- I do not recommend seperation for two people that actually want their marriage to work.. unless we’re talking about taking a long drive alone to think and clear one’s head.
I assume that we aren’t talking about that though.
Seperation is only a preparation for divorce, and in many states is a requirement before divorce. I was seperated for one year before I was divorced, which is the legal requirement for my state.
But contrary to what some say, seperating won’t make you miss your spouse any more than a vacation alone would. In fact, the opposite will generally occur, as someone else mentioned. Your heart will grow even colder, in terms of being in love with the person you were married to. You will, most likely, develop a “single” attitude.. as you become used to living apart. This is especially true for men during the seperation.
I view seperation as the entrance ramp which leads to the highway. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule.. but if you don’t want the highway, then don’t get on the ramp!
Stay together and work on your marriage as a team, not seperately.
Seek counseling first!
- Depends on the circumstances, and BOTH partners.
In some cases it can be death to the marriage. Whereas one decides the temporary break should be permanant, causing heartbreak for the other.
While in some cases it can save the marriage. When it is realized that being separated brings the realization of what they had together, and wish to retain.
- Both partys have to want the marriage to work. If they do then you don’t need to seperate, you can apply the hard work it takes while living the marriage…
- If the reason is only for to “get some space” after having some heated arguements more than occasionally. Sometimes overfamiliarity breeds either contempt or starts a feeling of being taken advantage of too often. A cooling off period may be in order for this. It almost never works when there is cheating, alcohol or drug abuse, or sexual and mental abuse going on.
- Two dramatic answers -
Seperation can make you love and miss and want the person, run to him/her back, and realise how much you love him/her and that makes you learn a lesson not to have the seperation ever again
Seperation can make things go colder, especially if it is a man who goes back to his mums, he will never go back to you, the mother will make him feel happy, secure, and he’ll be there forever without returning to the wife, where problems can be more than staying at her quiet old calmed down mother who has nothing to worry anymore, but her own age and death
Good luck, YOU only know what’s best
- Are you serious? You think seperation is the best way to establish sharing, affection and intimacy?
Good grief. It’s just one more hurdle for people who’ve already run out of ideas. Sometimes folks get back together, but only because they don’t like being alone. You still have the problems that led to seperation in the first place. You don’t move forward by going backward.
Ridiculous.
- no. it is a cowardly step out of the door.
it is about two years i’m married we love each other too much we dont have fincial problem we are rich,but we have too many argument,we dont understanding each other maybe. we trust each other,
Best Answer: its only early days yet. You have the basis of a good marriage being trust. Arguments can stem from misunderstandings and perhaps relating to each other on a different level could help – what you are doing so far isn’t working so it cant hurt to try…perhaps a marriage counsellor could smooth the way to understanding each other and they are supposed to be neutral so you don’t have to worry about taking sides. You love each other so the marriage is worth it and you owe it to each other to try.
We are a young couple (Im 26 he’s 27). Weve been married for a year and some change. We had little squabbles here and there like normal couples, but for the past month hes been acting strange. When I try to talk to him I get dismissed or a terse response. Whenever he wants sex (a lot) I feel like I have to say yes. And sex isnt even fun anymore b/c hes so aggressive. The other day we went out with a group of friends and I kinda embarrassed him (long story) but I made a semi public apology. On the way home he kept rehashing what happened. The arguement continued at home and things got physical when he pinned me against the wall and yelled at me like a child. I was so pissed, I made him sleep in the living room and gave him the silent treatment. Hes been trying to apologize but Im not having it. Anyway if things continue like this i know were headed for divorce. Ive tried talking to him in the past but he is so unresponsive. What should I do?
Best Answer: give it one more chance you never know good luck girl
- Well i don’t belive that a man should put his hands on a woman. He should have just left to cool off. That should never happen again. and as far as sex, i went through that with my ex fiance and i have to admit something has to change because for me i had to end it. I gave him sex all he wanted and i began to just lay there because i didn’t want him anymore. You guys need counseling out a mediator someone that you trust. If you do something now it can be saved but does he want it to be saved?