How Do I Save My Marriage

My wife and I are/were alcoholics, she had been abusive and cheated on me{I LET HER BACK 3YRS AGO}…she & I had a fight and I left had a few beers and parked down the road from the house.I got a dwi..was forthright with my job and they took my $2 million sales territory like I was meat for the hungry wolf pack.My went off the deep end stopped taking her meds flipped out started punching and kicking me, I backup blocking but getting kicked in the groin into the kitchen and she came at me with a 12” knife,she was so out of control and fearing some-one would get hurt I was cornered,I TRAPPED THE ARM and she wouldn’t drop the weapon so I poped her in the face,it all happened so fast,and she was so violent I just reacted. I held her down and then let her up,She just kept coming at me IHELD HER DOWN telling my daughter to call 911,mommy was drunk and out of control.She didn’t press charges but the P.D. did.My daughter tried to tell them Daddy was defending himself but NOWAY.Any suggestions

Best Answer: Pray, I really think only God’s love can help you and this woman. I hope your daughter isn’t living with this dangerous woman. Alcohol really affects her. Don’t drink, get AA help, help your daughter and leave.

• tough one u got here. but one thing i know can save you. DONT save that marriage no more. Remember the saying, for every successful man, there is a woman behind them? Well, we all have to admit that for every man going downhill, there is also a woman behind them.

  save the house, save the kid, save ur job, save everything, get a good wife.

• You can’t always get what you want……………….but if you try sometimes you get what you need.
• sucks to be you
• all the time in the world and this was the best lie you could think of?
• You r 2 demanding. ask Alfred Hitchcock for the answers. My mind is not working.
• Yeah, stay away from alcohol, leave the *itch and start a new life. your chips are already down.
  Rebuild awaaaaaaaaaaaay from her if you can.
• sorry you are sh!t out of luck but, look up KBR on the net and that should give you that 80+k job back…… but, and there is always a but it is oversea, and the good thing about that is that were you well be there welll be no alcohol
• Okay, you really screwed up, but it’s not the end of the world. You are going to need OJ’s lawyer on this one, but it could work. You could plea it out or have some of the charges dropped.

  If that happens, get another job, some serious help regarding your personal life and get your daughter into some counseling. She’s going to need it with you two for parents.

  And then…next time you want to do something stupid, think first!

• You can start by admitting that you are powerless over alcohol/and or drugs and that your life IS unmanageable.Then you can start going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and listening to other alcoholics share there experience,strength, and hope.Then you can ask someone to be your sponsor, and you start working the 12 steps as it’s suggested to you, and your life WILL get better !!!!! Please give yourself a second chance at having a FIRST class life. Signed, one who has walked in your shoes,and cleaned up the “Wreckage of my past” (actions) and today I get to enjoy life as it shows up. By choice. Good luck!!!!!!
• One day at a time.
• 1) stop drinking
  2) get a lawyer a good lawyer should try to get your daughter to testify this may or may not work.
  3) the DUI and your job well… that’s a little harder. Depending on the how the court case turns out. If all goes well and you are telling the truth here then you should just have to re-earn the trust the company gave you. It’ll take a lot of work but if you show that you are making progress (sobering up etc) then you should be able to find a job in no time.
• Get a good lawyer.
• If you really believe what you are saying is the truth, get a good lawyer to defend you. AND STOP DRINKING!
• Wow. See a councellor, lawyer, etc. Leave your wife. Why is she on meds???

My husband and I have been best friends with this other couple since August 2005. We have all pretty much spent every weekend together since then, even though I told my husband I needed a break every now & then. Back in June 2006 my husband & I got into an argument, I went off on the four wheeler to be alone. My friends husband came up and we talked and things happened, including kissing & oral sex, no sex. I didn’t tell my husband until August 2006. I couldn’t keep this lie in any longer. I love him and want to be with him forever. How can I make him understand that I love him and would never do anything like this again? The thing that hurts too is I came out and told the truth and he had to tell his wife too, they are doing okay and will most likely be okay. I can’t tell with my husband. One day I think things will be fine, and the next I think he’ll leave me. What can I do to prove to him that I love him and would never do this again?

Best Answer: Well both of you need to forgive each other . Your husband needs to forgive himself and you need to forgive yourself. Truly repent from cheating totally & return back to your ordained lifetime soulmate God gave you to have in the first place. Than ask God to forgive you and make Jesus your Lord of your life. Put God in the centered of your marriage ……….. ok !!! Start working on your marriage and don’t take the coward’s way out by getting a divorce . Marriage is what it is until death . When you speak those words “Till death do us part ” THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS. Honor the sanctity of your marriage !!!! Marriage is a commitment – bottom line; for better or worse. When we marry , we make a commitment to stick by our ordained lifetime soulmate through thick and thin.If our spouse screws up and makes mistakes , forgive them , work it out and maintain commitment. Get that picture. Hang in there and don’t ever take the coward’s way out by getting a divorce.

• You schedule a meeting with a therapist ASAP to Help you sort-out what was taking place within you that caused you to compromise your marriage & brake your holy vows you took together with your husband. After you’ve sorted thur that then bring your husband into a session & explain to him what you’ve learned from this whole ordeal. After that the real work begins by assuring him everyday, for the rest of your life that you will never ever never Cheat on him again. Then he too must work on trusting & forgiving you. Lots of hard afterwork for a few mins. of pleasure. I hope it was really worth.

  Good Luck One Love…..Peac

• I always say that “if it’s not yours just let it go”
  On your case if your husband is yours you would not have cheated. We are all human yes, but move on if you can’t be true to yourself. Just my thoughts.
• You have broken a sacred trust. You promised your self to him and only him. Even if your hubby was verbally abusive, cheating is cheating. If you felt abused in any way, leave for a while and get your head together, not give head to your best friend’s hubby and let him eat you. You have alot of painful work ahead of you I’m afraid.
• Obviously you need counseling. It would be great if your husband could go too. You need to realize that the “trust” in the relationship has been violated and broken.

  Healing must begin and in order to establish healing some major steps must be taken.

  First, it’s great that you have come clean (so to speak) and let him know this has happened. But do you truly understand WHY? Did you see it coming? In your heart did you want it to happen?

  Counseling will help you break some emotional barriers that have been building for you over time. Your husband probably doesn’t trust you and doesn’t feel safe to trust you.

  It will take some timefor you to understand the enormity of your actions, and he will need time to heal from the betrayal. Give him that time, think of how you would have reacted if he came home and told you he had oral sex with your best friend. No doubt your head would be in a spin for good while. Prehaps you’d begin to question yourself, him and the whole marriage.

  Suggest that you both go to counseling together, but if he says he doesn’t feel he should go, let him know you will no matter what.

  Also, he’s probably having mixed emotions because he’s not able to come to terms with the situation and why it happened. He apparently hasn’t had closure and is afraid of being hurt once again. In time, hopefully and prayerfully he’ll be able to truly forgive you and move on. But he will need to find a way to heal through proper counseling and assurance from you discoving what led you to that improper choice.

  The only thing you can do is to ask God for forgiveness, ask your husband for forgiveness, seek counseling and allow your actions to speak louder than your words.

• The next time you need something on the oral level outside of your marriage, I say go to the dentist for a oral exam that shouldn’t cause you any marital problems.

  What you are going through now is just why you should think before you act.

  A argument doesn’t have to turn someone to oral sex with someone else husband.

  You want to prove your love, put your actions where your mouth is and tell any man who want sexual favors from you that you give at home.

  You need to deal with the circumstances and sit idly by to see if your spouse can forgive you for something I would find it hard to forget.

• How can you profess to love him? After an argument you do what you did? Do you even understand what it means to be married? It means talking your problems out with your HUSBAND not your “best friend.” I guess there wasn’t much talking because you had his d… in your mouth! You are disgusting!
• give him time, and no other reason to think you would ever doing anything like this again, however remember that god will never give you more than you can handle. All will eventually be ok.. It always is, even if it does not feel so at the time..
• you may be able to. my brother in laws wife cheated on him with his best friend they divorced for less than a year then remarried. they are still together after this second marriage. i think it’s cause he’s the only one willing to put up with her.

  Anyway, I digress. Yes any relationship worth having can be saved. You are going to have to earn his trust all over again. If he wants to leave you as a result of this whole thing then that is his right.

  Good luck to you.

• What you did was unbelievably wrong, and I am honestly surprised that the other wife is still with her husband. Not only did you betray your marraige, but you betrayed the relationship with your best friends. How can you even expect your husband to be okay with it? You’d probably never forgive him if the tables were turned so don’t act like you deserve something. You were the one in the wrong so deal with it.
• whew. Maybe let ur husband have his friends wife, then it can be done every once in a while
• give best friend, plus his wife 2nd chance
• Trust is the last thing to come back. If you really want it to work out, try counseling and let him have time. Learn from your mistake.
• Usually 1 mistake can be overlooked.
  He has plenty of anger to let out…let him.
  At some point though the anger must stop (he will milk it to get things he wants). He must decide to either get over it & move on, or just move on.

  By the way, Hillary, Oral is sex!

• Wow, that’s a brave question!

  I’d say you would be the solution to this problem, no one else can actually help you. It’s you who will decide if cheat or not.

  If you truely want to save your marriage, you’d better not tell him. You prove your true love by not cheating again.

• prove it by living it.

  and understand that the ball is in his court now. he will be completly justified in leaving you if he chooses.

  if he doesn’t, expect him to be suspicious for a long time, and remember when you get mad at him for being that way, that you earned it.

• This is too much. You really blew it. I mean to tell you the truth I’m not going to feel sorry for you or for anyone who has ever cheated on their partner. You have no escuse to tell. No matter what he tells you, if he was drunk, how many fights you’ve had or if how many times your husband cheated on you. I have been drunk before but I have not once thought about cheating on my husband I don’t care if it’s just kissing. I have never and I will never cheat. If you want to save your marriage I suggest you go with a marriage counselor. Good luck and I’m sorry if I ofended you, but this is just my opinion.
• yes you relay did make a mistake and you wont get any sympathy from me. what i suggest is probably something you wouldn’t even pay attention to so i wont waist my breath. you new that it wrong before you you did what you did dint blame on anything else or that you were drunk that’s bullshit do you know the pain you caused or can cause to person? if your husband doesn’t already know dont tell him and make sure the other idiot doesn’t say anything and never ever do this again. There is so much that a person causes when there is no trust in a relationship and when there is not trust it causes mental,emotional,confusion,suspicion,que… so much more.why would you do this? if your not happy then get a divorce and go your way.
• there’s no such thing as best friend once ur married dear…once ur known as a wife/husband then ur partner is ur best friend and there’s no such thing as a platonic relationship…move from that place….stop seeing ur best friend
• including kissing & oral sex, no sex. Why is it people think oral sex is not sex?Once you break the trust there is no going back.He can no long trust you and he know longer needs you.Kissing another man is bad enough but You did have sex no matter what way you look at it.
• I’m not sure it can be saved. You broke the trust that your marriage was based on. Trust, in my opinion is about impossible to regain. Even if he did stay in this marriage, your husband would always have that nagging little voice in his head.
• Sounds to me like your S.O.L. (Sh**,out of luck). Was it worth it?
• Consider counseling. If your husband won’t go, go alone. It will help. Good luck.
• I don’t know if you can prove it, I couldn’t forgive my husband or my best friend if they cheated. A complete stranger, maybe. Not my best friend. Of all the people in the world, why the best friend. Being drunk is no excuse. If you do things like that when you drink, maybe you should stop drinking.
• Your A slut
• let him do the other guys wife in front of you, better yet join him and her in bed together or make it a 4 some
• All you can do is apologise, tell him how much he means to you, and stay true to your word. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to “make” him believe you. All you can do is hope he gives you a 2nd chance.
• You should consider counseling. It would be good for the two of you to go first and if neccessary bring your two friends in the second time. If your husband doesn’t want to go, go by yourself. But do not go to any councelor. Find one at your local church, if you have a chuch home to go to. Most will give free counceling.
• Your not awhore so don’t act like one.
• It will probably be o.k. but you’ve got to build the trust all over again which will take a lot of time and with time it heals, this really hurts and it makes no differece if you had sex or not it’s just as bad, you might as well have had! Are you all still friends? if so maybe you can enetre the game of swinging! Not that it will solve anything but it could make all of the realtionships better!

  The call it cheating for a reason b/c it is a game you can play it well and by the rules if there was any set in the begining or you can chaet and lie and never tell or you can do what you have done tell and ask to be forgivin’ – You’ve done the best thing you could do by telling the truth all will be fine.

  Reasure hubby you are an honest person and explain to him that communication is important and you want to be able to talk to him about anything including sex… There is no room for jelliousy just room for unconditional love even if this means having an open relationship b/c you do truely love him and want him to be happy even if that means being with other women! Sorry but true, you’ve opened that door! It may make your marriage stronger and you will learn lots about eachother you never thought you could…
  best of luck.

• you had sex with someone else over a argument how low life are you , if i was your husband i drop you like a hot slut you are,, remember he may forgive you but he will never forget ,, sucks to be you

i do not want my parents to know i do not want my children t o know but now everybody has guessed ,still i do not want to leave him ,i do not want anybody to know ,but he insists to call and insult my parents

Best Answer: What exactly does he do wrong? Insults your parents? How does he treat you, that is what matters. Is he nice to you?

• Hats off to your Love. don’t leave him. He may be upset with the other things. Please leave him alone to figure out his problem, don’t force him and try to teach him what he is doing.

  After he realizes your love for him and what he is doing. He will be as good as you are to him and your family.

• Speak up! Without speaking up you will not resolve anything. Yes, you are risking your marriage. But who has ever heard of anyone going through life without taking risks?

  Check out my source for more info.

• Huh?

  Your grammar is so bad I don’t understand the details.

  I’m struggling with how you continue to love someone who disrespects you and insults your parents? These are not qualities that make someone love you…

• Don’t live life miserably, Dialogue directly and resolve the problems, since you have your children with you and your life also has value….
• How can you love someone who makes you unhappy, who insult your parents?

  Do you think he deserves your love?
  You should love yourself before any one else.
  I hope you find the strenght to leave this agressive man!

• One question… Why do you want to stay? And don’t give me the “I still love him”. Why do you want to stay with someone who treats you and your family like that?
• You two need marriage counseling.
• Please you give your birth details for your answer
• Jedi is right
• If he is abusive get out!
• not enough info for me to give any advice. i’m confused on whats going on

If I allow him to have a girlfriend on the side!

(married since Dec 2008)
He said that if I allow this he will be happy, in turn, I will benefit by the fact that he will treat me better, more loving, etc.
I am NOT into cheating in marriage.
I know I am codependent, but this request is WAY out there!!!

I am 4 months pregnant and he REALLY wants this baby. He cares more about baby than about me.
I have a 5 yr old with me and he has 2 kids that live with their mom (prev marriages)

Anyway, I am posting to hear OPINIONS, no need to be rude or mean.
I know I don’t approve, but just want to hear the community’s thoughts on this topic.
btw he has Borderline Personality Disorder.
Thanks for your input
♥
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_…

Best Answer: This is NOT the core issue!

He is looking for excitement and can’t figure a way to do it with you.

1. Do NOT take it personally. By fighting and rebelling you may drive a wedge between you.

2. Keep the communication open and talk with him about the issue. It is not a yes or no situation. Ask him how it would make him feel. Ask him what the true reason is. The deeper you probe, the easier it will be to get to the core issue.

Actually, my wife and I had this EXACT discussion. I tried on a few occasions to include her in the tryst, as well. We came up with a REALLY good solution…..

We took clear and Provocative steps to make HER the girlfriend!!! (think wigs, personality, outfits, and role playing…) We laughed about it a few times, but eventually, we both got into the role and now we have a steamy romance!

• Your husband is a jerk to even think of saying something like that to you – WHY would you stay with him knowing he has someone else on the side. You CAN have this baby without him, it may be hard at first but you are strong and can pull through. There are other men in the world others who are not jerks. Like you said you are not into cheating and he MIGHT already have cheated on you – you need to think about that – lose him and never look back
• Is this how you really want to live your life? How would you feel if you agreed to such a selfish demand, Don’t do this to yourself. I know its bad since you/re pregnant but hopefully you will see this loser for what he is. Get out as soon as you possibly can, do you have relatives you can move in with, or close friends. You don’t need this stress while you/re pregnant.
• Its simply unacceptable. He is clearly thinking of himself and isn’t concerned about your feelings (or the other woman’s if it really should be said). He has given you an ultimatium so the ball is left in your court, you make the decision – but if you are after stability it sounds like he can’t offer that to you.
• Hey you already said it he has BDP and it answers a lott of questions why he acts that way. Sorry to ask why did you marry the guy and had babies with him? Please for your own sake and the baby’s sake leave him and move on he can love his baby even with out him in the same house.
  Your not going to happier if your going to let that happen and you know that already.
• OMG! you can’t allow that to happen! i am sure that he isn’t loving you anymore.. how can he request YOU to accept him having a second GIRLFRIEND who he is supposed to be loving you!

  leave him.. he doesn’t deserved your LOVE in my honest opinion..

  u will find a better man who deserves your care, your love and your everything…

• Save your marriage for what? A cheating husband, heartache, pain and misery. Your husband is a very immature, selfish bast*** and you know it. Its too stupid to even think about , let alone talk about.
  Please take your baby and find a new life. This one is dead.
• Divorce him as soon as you can – Probably can’t while you are pregnant. Unless of course it’s ok for you to have a bf too. I wonder how fast he’ll agree to that one. The man is scum!
• I do not believe your husband.I would let him hit the road, but don’t you think I wouldn’t hit him for child support.If he wants another woman in the relationship, he doesn’t love you.
• If you love him let him have his gf just don’t let her interfere with your time together make him schedule time with her around your plans
• BULLSH*T.

  You deserve better than being a “part time” partner.

  Dump his a$s and find a real man. One who doesn’t think with his dick.

• no way would I put up with this.. find someone who will treat you right. You don’t deserve this. If he can’t treat with respect right now then he will never be able to.
  pack your kids up and leave.
• There are plenty of men who want just one woman.
• He sounds crazy. I have never heard of guy doing such a thing.
• kick this clown to the curb, see an attorney and file for child support.
• **** dat **** leave the fagg
• I would pack my bags and leave! That is just wrong, sorry.
• so does that mean you get a boyfriend on the side, then?
• forget him and find a man that will be true to U
• He’s a dog. I leave him alone if I was you. Imagine how much hurt that will bring to you and you child. And a bad representation. Your daughter might think it is okay for her man to treat her like that because mommy did it and your son will think it is okay to treat girls like that because daddy did mommy like that. Do you get what I’m saying? This guy obviously DO NOT love you and never had or will. If he did he will care for your well being emotionally, spiritually and physically. He can give you and your child a STD and put both your health in serous risk. Is that worth it? Trust me me Aunt going through the same thing right now. This guy do not take care on his kids whatsoever. But take care of his GF children that not even his blood and got them calling him daddy. I seriously doubt that going to make him feel any different about you and I say leave ASAP. Good luck with your child.
• He is only thinking of himself not of you.
  The only way to save a marriage is to work on the real issues… not to bring a 3rd person into it. How heartbreaking for you! You are pregnant and dealing with something very stressful.
  Give him an ultimatum. A girlfriend on the side and no wife… or a family to come back to and a chance to make your marriage work.
  Do not let him talk you into letting him do the wrong thing (cheating on you) to fix the problems you have.. trust me.. it’ll only make them worse!
• He wants to have you and another woman. it is obvious you husband is committing adultery and he is thinking about his happiness only and as far as he is concerned he doesn’t care about your feelings. You are a grown woman and if you choose this crazy arrangement it is only your fault.
• I know what you are going through must be hard, especially with you being pregnant, but girl, this guy isn’t worth your attention. If he loved you he wouldn’t want a girlfriend on the side. That is just plain wrong. If that is the only way your marriage can be saved, then honestly, it isn’t worth saving. A marriage is between a man and a woman. Not a man, woman, and girlfriend. Stand up for yourself and leave him. You will find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and love you and ONLY you and not want to have their cake and eat it too. Good luck sweety!
• Scary thing is I was there and did that! But in my situation I was not pregnant, I had my two girls. After 4 years of marriage he ran into an old girlfriend… he said she moves in or we file for divorce. I was crazy to say yes, but in fear of being on my own again I agreed… her and her 3 sons moved in with us. They lived with us for 6 years and many times when I came home from work I could hear them in her bedroom. Where am I now? Happy to be away from what is called mental abuse. It is now 4 years later and I am glad I got my smile back. If I was in your shoes… I wish I had left instead of having her move in… no woman should believe a man needs a girlfriend on the side to be happy.

First of all he is a drug addict who got me hooked on the same drug. He stated that he wants to quit but that the only way he can do that is by coming home and getting away from his roommate who influnces him into doing cocaine and freebase. he also promise to be helpfull around the house and be more productive in our marriage….however all i have heard in the last 9 months is words but I have not seen any actions. How do i know that i can trust him again to get clean, be productive, loving, not controling, and trust in me.

Best Answer: first he should be willing to prove to u he is in therapy, he should keep u updated on his progress, words are cheap, and mean nothing without action. u don’t trust him to get clean if coming back home means enough to him he will be glad to do whatever it takes to get clean and prove to u beyond a doubt hes clean and right again. u really don’t need this bad influence in your life, and it will take hard work with both parties working towards it not just one. things are probably not working out so well with the new love and all the drugs.

• First of all, you can’t blame someone else for YOUR drug addiction. YOU put that stuff in your body, and it’s no one’s fault but your own.

  Tell your husband that you’ll put the divorce on hold but he needs to go to rehab and live on his own. When he’s been clean and sober for 6 months, and has a good job, start counseling with him and only then consider taking him back.

• you can’t

  he needs to get his own place away from the influences – not living with you right now to prove himself – and the two of you need to get into marriage/drug counseling if you want to work it out -

• No, no, no and no.

  If you want to put off the divorce then fine…..but he stays OUT until he’s been clean for a WHOLE YEAR.

  “My roommate made me do it” is an excuse.

  You will know that you can trust him again when he’s been CLEAN for a YEAR.

  PERIOD.

• Tell him that you will believe him and support him and stand by him after he has gone through drug rehab and detox. Then while he’s there , and stays until they say he can, he will have to go to cocaine anonymous group, at least twice a week. Then you go and get the drug tests from the store and give him a drug test twice a week . If he is willing to do all this and continue, then all the power to you both. If he disagrees, then forget it. It won’t work. I’ve been in your shoes and its not fun. Good luck. If you want to talk, I’m here.
• Don’t try to save the marriage, you need to do what’s in your best interest.He needs to change before you guys can even think about getting back together, he’s just making excuses to come back because he has not one.And if it’s been 9 months and he hasn’t tried to change why would he all of a sudden try to change now, what’s different now that wasn’t different the other times he said he was going to change.
• you don’t need his bad influence in your life.
  keep him gone
• You don’t know if he can be all you have asked here. So far, he has not proved anything to you, can YOU trust him.

  What would I do in this situation. Tell him to clean his act up before I allow him back home, (I would think he would be using me and my generosity and love for him). Tell him you will help him, support him, stand by him.

  I think he needs to prove he can do it, before you can rebuild your marriage and find trust in each other.
  If you still have your habit, maybe doing rehab together is a good direction too?

  Good luck and only do what is right for you.

• first of all, do not take him back until he has committed himself to a rehabilitation program or something like that. You are right – an addict is just that – addicted and he can’t stop without the help of a professional. He is trying to make you feel guilty by telling you that he can’t stop without you – you didn’t do this -he did. Do not let him back into your life without action – not promises -action. You will need proof that he has been doing this and it wont’ take a week – it will take months. Good luck.
• Action speaks louder than words.
  He can clean up his act only if he wants to. You could make that priority #1 before you get back together.
  You can start “dating” again to see if he can be more loving before he moves back in.
  If you do let him move back,you will find out if he is willing to help around the house or not and both of you will need to work on your marriage together and if he is controlling or not.
  I don’t think you will ever fully trust him again and if he breaks any of the terms of saving the marriage,you can always file for divorce and kick him out of your life.
• …bolt the door shut, don’t let him in, it will happen again, file
  for divorce immediately, the druggie, your husband, will beg,
  steal, lie and abuse, to get his drugs…
  …you can’t trust him, been there and lost it all!!!
• He should go to detox (and then perhaps to a drug-free structured home) and you should go to NA and Al-Anon.

  Don’t listen to words, just look at actions. Right now, that doesn’t sound promising.

  After years of YOUR recovery, you’ll have a better basis for evaluating your relationships with other people. The rule of thumb is not to make any big decisions and not to even date in the first year of sobriety. So that means no decisions about the marriage right now.

  For the legal questions, I suggest posting a separate question in the law category here, including your state if you’re comfortable with that. One opton is to let the divorce go ahead and reserve the option to re-marry each other later once he’s got some recovery together and you’ve worked the steps with solid sponsors in Al-Anon and NA yourself.

• You can’t expect people to change. No matter what they say PEOPLE NEVER EVER CHANGE. If you don’t love who he is in all his drugged-up, slacker, filthy-dirty-clothed, lazy-can’t hold-a-job, disrespectful, controlling, drug-dealing glory, don’t take him back. He will always be as he is now. You already followed his ways once and you are a better person than that. Let him go and ruin his own life and not yours. Just think if you were to become pregnant…you wouldn’t want to bring a brain damaged child into the world. You must be careful and not be around people who have a negative effect on your life. Good luck!