LOL Well I love this section & i decided to ask an interesting question…
the generation today is mostly having sex before marriage. what do u think of this? everyone has his/her own opinion about it.
P.S: Why do most people mock virgin males?
I kinda like it when a guy is ready to save himself for marriage, thought he might be ill-experienced lol.
Best Answer: Most people will test drive a car before they buy it….. and that’s just a car. It would be VERY disappointing to find out your spouse was terrible in the sack AFTER the marriage vows. I know people often say sex isn’t the most important thing in a relationship. For me, trust is the most important but sex, good sex, is a close 2nd.
iam married for 5years and have 2kids.ours is an arranged marriage.we have been talking for a year& then got married.since day1 of my marriage,he strated complaining about my behaviour,which he doesnt like,example the way i talk,the way i sit,stand etc.few of them i tried to change to suit him,few i couldnt like the way i walk etc..he says i do everything like my dad,which he hates.as u know its all in ur genes that cant be changed.others dont do that with me only he does that.he slowly started punishing me for that.he started abusing me verbally me &my family,then he started beating me(not vigorously),he sometimes hits himself,bangs his head on wall,breaks a fan,& now he uses filthy language against my parents which i couldnt bear anymore.
on the other hand after the fight ,he says he loves me,&please dont leave me.
in fact he does loves me &my kids a lot,he buys me everything that i ask for &keeps me happy &respect my parents a lot.its only in anger he does that with me alone.help?
Best Answer: I have two words for you sweetie “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE” i’ve been on the end of that nightmare so know exactly how you feel. I know this is probably not what you want to hear but to be honest with you, you have 2 choices…………..you can either stay and let this carry on, and believe me if you stay then everytime the beatings will get worse,they might start off as nothing much but in time that will change.You have to ask yourself how much can you actually take??? How long before you are put in hospital??? And then of course there is the mental abuse which in itself can do more damage than physical abuse!!! And then finally you have to think of your kids – think of the damage it must be doing to them, you might not think they know anything but believe me, they’re not silly, they will know!!! Even if they haven’t witnessed anything. Or your other choice is to leave, what the hell gives him the god forsaken right to treat you like this…….he has NO right what so ever!!! Honey there is plenty of help out there for people in your situation, you have just got to find the strength to be able to take that help, please please please dont let him do this to you. I’ve had the “OH I LOVE YOU, I’M SORRY, I’LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN” but its NOT love, and he DID do it again, dont do what i did and put up with it for 10 years, your husband needs some serious help!!! Your not alone, please remember that, i’m here if you need to talk xx
- If you are happy in the relationship, stay in it. If you like the way he treats you, fine. but i strongly think he has no right to abuse you. it is illegal and puts you down. Tell him that if he really loves you, he would stop. It isn’t your responsibility to stay in the relationship. separate for a while. use the time to think. stay with your parents. i’m praying for you.
- This man is a LOSER!! Don’t change your ways for him!!
He is ridicullous!
By the way- He doesn’t Respect you, or your family!
- marriage counseling
- You don’t need to SAVE your marriage you need to GET OUT of your marriage. That’s not a marriage!
- Jassi, this can be a two fold problem. One, your husband is rebelling because he doesn’t like your parents and everything you do reminds him of them. Or two, he as an anger management problem. People who have control problems are usually angry people.
Let me tell you this, there is no reason for someone to abuse you in any way. You are here defending a bad behavior. Well, he is only like that when he is mad. Nonsense, it will get worst. He goes off in a tandem and comes back to apologize to you. Sit down and talk to him about what it is doing to you and the children. Especially the children, you don’t want them to become like him.
- Honey he is already developed an unhealthy pattern. On the one hand you say all these terrible things he does and says to you and your family, then on the other you say he makes you happy and he respects your family. How that that be? Its admirable that you want to save the marriage first, but you can’t do your part and his part. He has to have the want to change, and honestly, I don’t see that. He is comfortable with his behavior and then apologizes and says he loves you just to keep your head confused. Which it seems that he is succeeding. I would say you need to get out of that bad situation. If he doesn’t care about you then you need to care about you. But if you can’t just leave asap, then start writing down all the times he hits you or verbally abuses you. Write down how it made you feel. You will see that its a pattern and hopefully will open your eyes. Love can be a scary thing especially when you are so deeply involved because you might find yourself allowing things to happen if you didn’t have those feelings. My best advice is to stop thinking with your heart and stop rationalizing and start thinking with your head and use common sense. If you knew someone going through what you were going through would you tell them that everything was ok? Be real to yourself.
my husband and I fight all the time for no reason, for example; last sunday we were going to his mom’s house, when we were about to leave i remembered that the baby’s car seat was at my sister’s house and she was not home so he made me get in the car without a car seat and was driving erraricly zig zagging very fast my baby was crying i was terrified he was acting nuts! He got mad for that simple thing, he tells me that i’m soo stupid etc etc.. and then yesterday I had his phone because i was waiting for a call ( he was at work) anyways in the afternoon his phone recived a text saying “hi” supposly from “jose” and I replyed posing as my husband turns out it was a girl!! I confronted him and at first he denied it but then told me that he met her at a bar, chatted a while and asked her for her number but that he just did it for fun! he wasn’t really going to do anything that He didn’t even like her. How does he expect me to believe that, it’s BS!!!
He promised me that he won’t talk to no one again behind my back, I just don’t care anymore our marriage has been a hell since the start so i don’t see why I should stay with him anymore…
Should i give it another try?
Best Answer: if it was hell from the beginning what makes you think that it will change now?
- It seems you been giving your marriage another try too much! He might not be cheating yet but he will! He is just probably seeing if he can still get a girl! I would think for my kids sake, are you happy, are they? If not then there is your answer! If you really want it to work then tell him you want to go see therapy! If he says no then there is your answer again! Good Luck!
- no your not…when your married fun is with your family…not at sum bar with sum girl…there is more to it and i think maybe talk to the girl and ask her abt it???? goodluck your very forgiving…men some times don’t know what they got till its gone ….how would he feel …if you met a guy and had fun/???????mmm
- he is putting you and your child in danger and what is his responce to this?
sounds like your man needs to grow up some!
sorry i can’t answer your question i don’t agree with divorses. tho if he is cheating or abusing you then i can see it!
your call if you feel these are happening!
- I wouldn’t say give up just yet because you have never actually caught him in the act of cheating. It is normal for men to try to still see if they are still handsome.But too many people are getting divorced now a days. I would say seperate for a little while just to see if he acts like he want to still be there. If he goes out his way to make you happy again then he’s a keeper if not you know he’s just not into to like he used to be. ITS REALLY HARD WHEN CHILDREN ARE INVOLVED.
No you were not over reacting, but you were wrong for texting someone back in his phone.That will let him know you can;t be trusted with his personal posessions and will make him hide more things from you. If you didn’t have any intentions on doing anything about the text from the female you should not have said anything.
- I dont think you are overreacting. If you want it to work i guess you could try but make sure he is not bar hoping and geting other girls numbers. Only do it if you think you can trust him again. think about your kid and thiknif that is really what you want you do. It dont seem like he cares to much either. Maybe if you say something about geting divorced he will straighten up a little. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES GOOD FOR YOU!
- Why give it a try if he is moving on. First you have to make sure that he wants the marriage and if he does then seek counseling. If he doesn’t want to do that then you have to wonder if he actually wants it. And if it was nothing with the girl then why would he go through steps to cover up who he was chatting with. Personally I would see how many times that number appears on the phone bill and see how much he has been talking to her and how long. Compare the times with when he leaves the house. And then after that decide if you want to move on in the marriage.
- If your not happy with your relationship then you shouldnt stay, doesnt seem like your happy, he was driving crazy with your baby not in a car seat!! thats really sad that he would want to put his child in danger. and how would he feel if he had your phone and some guy texted you?! My bofriend has girl friends but they dont text him out of the blue just to say hi!! I would be pissed if I was in that situation I would leave, at least til he gets his act together!!!
good luck and do whatsbest for u and ur child!!! God bless!!
My fiance and I are starting a Bible study for engaged and newlywed couples… I’m trying to find a good curriculum right now.
Can anyone recommend one? It’s basically between:
1. Saving your marriage before it starts
2. Preparing for marriage
3. making the most of your marriage
Best Answer: Go to your nearby Christian bookstore, and they can sell you something like that. And give you advice. There’s also a Christian Magazine that’s pretty geared to married couples I saw last time I was in a Christian bookstore.
- the bible
- rocking the roles
My husband and i have been going through some really difficult times even though the first year of marriage is the hardest. the other night i went through his phone, something was telling me to so i did and i found to txt messages that was to another girl. which i thought was my friend and he is telling me it was all a joke but how can something like that even be funny. he was calling her sexy gf and babe. i love him with all my heart and he is telling me that they never seen each other without me there and nothing sexual between them ever went on should i believe him? he has never lied to me before about anything and i mean this is not my husband he is acting different bc i could never see him doing something like this to me is there any hope. please someone help me???
Best Answer: You said, “he has never lied to me before about anything ….” So go with his track record of honesty and give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves unfaithful. Even then, b4 throwing in the towel, you ought to ask for help beyond this entertainment site–like a counselor and/or pastor. You are not just dating anymore. Marriage is SUPPOSED TO last forever, so be sure to do ALL YOU CAN DO to save it!
- I would like to say it’s o.k., but it’s not. Even if they were joking it is highly inappropriate. A good way to tell is if they “joke” the same way around you- then there is nothing to hide, but it sounds like there is. Give it a couple days he will eventualy tell her that you found the messages- then go around her and see if she acts funny- if she does you will know somethign is up-
- Hello ive had simular thing happen to me. Please everyone i want you to help shed some ideas and lite on this matter. There is needs to be confronted and forgiven or not forgiven its up to you and fate. Tv show cheaters call them or simular please
- No guy shud be msging their misses’s g/f for general chit chat, and most def not be calling them babe. im sure if you said that to one of his mates he wont be happy bout it!
- The many people who emphasize communication as a key to healthy marriages are right: it is crucial. However, with twenty years of marriage experience, and as one who went to counseling alone and with my darling wife in the past, I am convinced that some issues are so sensitive that couples have great difficulty addressing them just as a couple. Therefore, I urge you to say to your husband, “I want us to resolve the discomfort that recent times have caused. We would both go to a doctor if we were jointly injured in an auto accident and were not sure how to treat our injuries. So I request that we go to a “heart” doctor, a well-trained, professional marriage counselor who can help us treat the heart injuries we have received in these difficult times. Let’s let that person coach us on what to say and how to say it, what to do and how to do it.”
He might not agree to do so immediately. Float out the idea in a way that sends a signal you want things to work. Tell him he does not have to tell you now, but that you would like to know his decision in a week, and that after one week, you do plan to go, and you hope he will go with you. Then, leave the issue alone for the entire week–completely. At the end of the week, find a peaceful moment, to politely ask, “Well, what have you decided about going with me to let someone help us improve things?” If he agrees, wonderful. If he does not, take the path of being the best mate you can and quietly begin your counseling. Your counselor can guide you from that point. Best wishes.
- There are many things at play and at stake here. It’s hard to know exactly what to say that will help. Hopefully you can find good tips or encouragement here, maybe I can help. I’m not an expert, but have been married for 7 years and have definitely had ups and downs.
Fortunately or unfortunately, marriage takes two people working hard at it. It sounds like you might need to sit down and talk with your husband. Tell him how you feel, what it is that really hurts you about the text. Tell him why you’re scared. Try to be specific – point out specific things that he’s doing that is acting different. If possible, keep this factual and not judgmental and try not to attack. Use “I” statements. Tell your point of view. Ask questions. Maybe something happened that has made him act differently – maybe even something he’s not aware of yet.
If I were in this situation, I’d probably first ask myself how would he feel if the situation was reversed? Could I text another man with the same type of talk? If I couldn’t, I’d probably be more upset and have more reason to discuss it with him.
As for whether or not you should trust him, I don’t/can’t know. You know – trust your gut. If you’re not sure, think about it awhile. Listen to yourself. Don’t rush into anything you’re unsure of.
Good luck. Take care of yourself. Talk with friends if you can. If not, perhaps keep posting online – if it’s helpful to you.
but i think its ok not to wait.