How Do I Save My Marriage

I don’t want a divorce but my head is bleeding from banging it on the wall. Making jokes on YA about my front door is really cheering me up. Now I’m thinking of buying some hostess cakes over the weekend while my wife is out of town.

Perhaps some tequilla and an old VHS tape of “comedy is not pretty” would really cap things off.

Best Answer: Comedy can defintly help. Also, don’t underestimate exercise and old hobbies.

I read something that what every you loved to do at about 9-10 years old are the hobbies you should get back into because they bring you pure joy.

It seems like it works. I got my husband some KungFu lessons for X-mas and he is having a ball. It’s important to have some stress relief and get out of the house apart sometimes.

Good luck, and watch out for the tequilla. It might be better to meet a friend for a couple drinks out rather than drinking at home alone.

• Humor definitely helps but if the love isn’t there anymore I don’t think there’s much that could be done. Even with therapy if one person has their mind made up then therapy is only a quick fix that won’t last. I suggest sitting down and finding out where each of you stand. Divorce is something that I have thought about myself but haven’t followed through because the problems weren’t really that terrible. I notice from my divorce friends and family the problem is that one person changes with time while the stays stuck in the past (Mrs. Doubt fire syndrome I call it). it’s never good on the kids or the finances. Good luck
• Have you tried counseling? It can help..it has saved many marraiges…

  Joking on such a serious thing might not be a good idea. I mean women DO KNOW HOW TO TAKE JOKES…but maybe she will miss the point because she is in stress and confused too.

  I hope you are ok….you sound like you are hanging by a thread there…..

  Pull her aside and talk to her calmly and tell her how you feel….and that you would do anything to save your marriage ..and you think counseling would help.

  If she won’t go…then there is nothing to joke about is there?

  I am sorry…I hope you are ok.

• Do you really wany your marriage to be saved? well what is your situation? do you guys show respect for one another? do you ever make her coffee or just do nice things for her? well, i know this sounds kinda funny but you should watch fireproof the movie its about this one guy (kirk cameron) saving his marriage and he’s a firefighter, which means he works A LOT!!!! and when he’s off of work he’s on the computer looking up boats or watching porn well you just have to watch it buddy……..
• Trust me man, women are tragically unfunny. Some have a sense of humor, and can laugh with you, but ive rarely found a woman that actually could crack a good joke, or appreciate a good gag. Ive been married for 5 years, and my wife is the least funny person i know. she kinda rocks in other ways though.
• I always pop a beer and pop in my copy of Meatballs (with Bill Murray), it makes me forget that I’m married for and hour and a half.
• well don’t be sad i know how it feels watch this!!! it will make you laugh
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s9mNjFC7… i hope you enjoy it!!!!!
  sooo funny =) take care
• It can open up the lines of communication for your and your wife.
• Go crash some weddings and do the bridesmaids.That should make you feel better.
• Are you ok?
• what exactly u plan on doing with those hostess cakes doll…
• 2 points…..yeah, baby. woo hoo!
• it cant hurt

i deployed last fall and shortly after my wife had an affair and got pregnant, we were seriously pursuing divorce up until a few weeks ago when we had a long talk and decided to work and try our marriage again. i love my wife very much and we have one daughter together already, i want to have a happy family and a good relationship with my wife. a few issues have arisen…i have such a pain from all this inside that i feel that it would be a long time if at all before i “lay with my wife” is that wrong? also, while i feel that “resentment” i’ve also been deployed for a year and want to have sex with her when i return but she has little sexual drive anymore. i noticed this issue before i deployed and its not that sex is a deal maker or breaker in a relationship for me, i just feel somewhat rejected by that, i know she loves me by all the other things she’s done for me but i can’t help but feel this way, am i a bad person?

Best Answer: I am sorry to hear the pain but I commend you for trying to work out your marriage. I am assuming that the child isn’t yours but you have no problem with that which is another great thing for you. I beleive in marriage and the fight for it. You are a strong individual and “THANK YOU” for fighting for our country by the way. Making love in a marriage is key regardless of what otheres may say but it must be done with love and respect. Your wife should know that this maybe the problem that could have caused her to have an affair from the beginning. Yes women go thru changes but she needs to make up in her mind, her heart and soul that she needs to do WHATEVER it takes to make the marriage right again. She needs to do some soul searching and know that women have their ups and downs but their husbands are being harmed by this and she needs to not be selfish and step up to the plate and work it out. Maybe seeking professional help may give her a way of expressing her inner self so that she can be there for you. If not, she may fall again and you are not a bad person, what you are seeking is normal and natural and she needs to stop pushing you away before it’s too late, I pray not. I hope she sees how much of a man you are to stand by her side as she goes thru this. She may need help in all of this so that your family in the end can be saved. Talk to her about this and work it out and express to her you are here but you need her in many, many ways and you are here for the long haul. Good luck and please continue finding forgiviness in your heart not only for her, your marriage but for yourself. It can back fire on you and stress builds up and it must be released but in a positive way.

• This site is the last place you want to go for help. Most of these people are young and don’t know a thing about life yet. When I was in the military, they had counseling for wives having affairs when husband is overseas, it happens more then you think. Find out about that.
• You can either get over it or dump the *****. Choose and act on your choice.
• You could seek marriage counseling.
• she has no sex drive – but she didn’t have a problem conceiving a child with another man? I am sorry, but she is a ****!
• you aren’t a bad person maybe she just got bored… it can happen. Srry
• Not likely going to happen.. you both already resent each other.. Move on.
• just tell her to put out or get out that is what my husband told me when my sex drive took a dive
• You sound like a smart person, so you know the first step is forgiveness, not to be confused with forgetting it, that wont happen, at the next step is open and honest communication, anger doesn’t go with this so try to be calm and non confronting as possible, this way her defenses are not triggered up, and the conversation will remain open. You feel she is dirty now, tainted, its normal reaction not to want to lay with her, have her test for STD’s and in a few months have her tested again, this way you have an outlet to show she is clean. You said she got pregnant from the Jody that a tough one there. I have no advice except you she keeps it then you have to accept the baby which will be probably the hardest thing of all, but the remember the baby isn’t at fault or in the wrong, you may not be the babies father but you certainly can still be it Dad. Her being non sexually active is another issue, didn’t seem to stop her from screwing the Jody, so I would think that sex had become a routine chore rather then a pleasure, mix things up in the future buy some adult toys, use flavored oils and powder, get kinky see if that helps. I wish you well from one soldier to another.
• I understand that sex doesn’t make or break a deal but making love to your spouse is what helps you become closer to them. You are a way bigger person than I am for staying with her and working on your marriage. My ex husband cheated on me and I couldn’t get past the betrayal, dishonestly, and deception in which he placed in our marriage. I wish you the best of luck my friend but you did notice that I said ex husband. I can’t live with someone I can’t trust, and you were out defending our country…how dare she?
• You know it’s awfully hard to forgive and forget when your soul mate has committed the ultimate diseption. It takes alot of power and wisdom to deal it out. She needs to see how it has hurt you. which Im sure she does. Can you forgive? Can you love her after this? Trust is the basis to a lasting love. Your story is one that appens alot. Your not a bad person. Trust what I say A family that prays together stays together. Im not over religous either. You need counciling from a church. That type of counciling is about keeping a family together not dividing them. As far as the other fellow you need to ask him and her what part will he play in this. Its got to be fair to you or its not I repeat it wont work . randylewis7@yahoo.com
• I am sorry but i think cheating (especially on your military spouse) is a deal breaker not to mention being stupid and getting pregnant. You shouldnt feel bad and you dont owe her anything. What you need to do is go out and find an amazing woman who will treat you like you should be treated. There is no reason for a woman to cheat while her man is gone wether its while they are at work or while they are gone over seas. Hearing about these things makes me so angry. There is no logic in it. If you arent happy with your spouse and dont care enough to wait for them to come home then you should end the relationship before going out and getting someone else. If you feel that you could be able to trust her again then go for it but in reality do you ever think you can forgive her for what she did while you were overseas protecting everything she has.
• My husbands friend went through the same thing while they were deployed. His wife cheated and got pregnant by another man. He went through hell but they worked everything out and seem to be doing good now. So it is possible to put it behind you.
  I do agree with Trisha though. It’s not hard to stay faithful to someone you love. My husband was deployed for 15 months and I would have never even thought of doing something like that.
• Can you accept that child as your own?
  If you can, you might be able to make this work (and you’re a better man than I). He or she is always going to be there as a constant reminder.

  You definitely should get marriage counseling.
  I don’t know how you will ever be able to trust her again with your job and how much time you spend apart. If you stay together you really need a new job.

• You are not a bad person but she is a filthy wife. You will never get over it, just like me. Since she is carrying someone’s child, are you going to be responsible for that too. You may be a kind and big hearted man, but there’s always a limit to being generous. Don’t be a fool, if your wife loves you as much as you do, will she cheat on you? If she is not interested in sex, just let her be. In short, dump her.
  She is not worth it, sorry to say this but it’s the truth.
• You will need to enter into some marriage counseling in order to save your marriage if that is what you really want to do. Overcoming an affair is one of the most difficult things a marriage has to endure, and you will need help in order to get over what your wife has done to you.

  In order to move on you must forgive her for what happened — I’m not saying you have to forgive her today, but you will have to be able to forgive her eventually, otherwise the marriage will not work out. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting she betrayed you, but it does mean moving on and not mentioning it, etc. If you do not think this is something you would EVER be able to do, then it is not fair to remain in the marriage. It is unfair to you because you do not want to spend the rest of your life torturing yourself on a daily basis, however it is also unfair to your wife because she does not deserve to pay for one mistake for the rest of her life, every day.

  Granted what she did was very wrong and she has a lot of making up to do with you, however if you’re willing to give her another chance, eventual forgiveness is essential. And no, you are certainly not a bad person — all the feelings you described above are perfectly normal.

  Please see a marriage counselor.

  Good luck.

• Sorry to hear that. You are not a bad person, you should stay if you really think you can have a good relationship again. If not move on, although you were deployed she made the choice to chet and even conceive a child. People make mistakes, and she might have been driven by loneliness. You would have to come back and see. The child will be a constant reminder of the infidelity and if you will not be able to handle that and treat it like your own. Cut your losses and just be a father to your daughter there are plenty of women out there that could love you and be faithful to you while you are deployed because it will happen again and you will be wondering what she is doing. You guys need serious counseling and complete honesty about what caused this to be able to move forward and be happy.
• Wow…i am so sorry, i feel bad for you! I completely understand you not wanting to “lay” with your wife after she has been with another man. Let me just say if my husband ever man oh man ide be in the same boat as you…you are not a bad person you are in such an emotional place right now whether to work on things or just say how could you and never look back. If you and your wife are willing to move on from this situation then you two need to do just that forgive you will NEVER forget so remember that. This has to be something of the past though to get through although its going to take months maybe even years but once its done and talked about do it to where it is not brought up again..get all your questions and concerns out make sure that the resentment goes completely away or in a year or 5 you will be looking at your wife with a glare instead of a glow. She has lost her sex drive or just with you. You need to talk about that as well…if counseling doesnt help the situation maybe you two just need to spice things up a bit..also talk about the baby that is coming and that situation you dont want to put that child in a bad place for your wife making a mistake. Good luck and i hope all goes well
• First of all, hats of to you brother for forgiving your wife. You clearly love her. I am concerned, however, that she had sex with someone soon after you had left. Do you trust her?

  What you are feeling is completely normal. Trust is earned, and I highly recommend that you quickly go for Christian counseling together as soon as you get back. She may have lost her sex drive, but quite frankly, she made the choice to cheat (not you) so sex between the two of you is critical (and understandably, will be difficult for you).

  You have done nothing wrong. She needs to show you that her love for you is unconditional, and that healing in your heart will take time.

• Is she still pregnant with that other man’s child? Are you strong enough to have that child with your family as a constant reminder???? If you don’t think so, then maybe you should still consider divorce… HOWEVER, I’m all for reconciling with your marriage… don’t get me wrong.. but some men would find it IMPOSSIBLE to love the other man’s child as HIS OWN and that is what you would have to do…. Women’s sex drive is not as great as mens for the most part… and if your wife has truly stopped her affair, then SHE has probably gotten used to not having sex…. so it may be difficult for HER as well …but no marriage is easy, they ALL require a lot of work… YOURS will just require an extremely large amount of work – - especially on YOUR part. I wish you good luck… and hope for the best.
• I am a Military Wife and would never cheat on my husband ever, but to do that while he is deployed and risking his life is insane and thoughtless. You must really love her to want to stay with her after that, my suggestion is counseling. If your wife is not willing to do that they she is not willing to make the relationship work. Some women are not strong enough to deal with the military life, but that is no excuse to cheat on your spouse. She does not deserve to be with you. And as a military wife and proud American, thank you for serving our country.

My husband was nice & caring but also had some serious control issues. I needed his permission/approval for everything i did – who i could speak to & make friends with etc. As a result, we had terrible fights.

One evening, there was an incident which required the cops to step in. In order to protect myself, I gave them a statement in which I said he was a threat to me. This went on their record.

Now, almost 2 years later, we’re separated but neither of us have moved on as we’re still frequently in touch with one another. Things are slowly settling down with us.

Here’s the question – He says he deeply loves me & misses me terribly…but also says he cannot be with me. This makes NO sense – I’ve suggested counselling but he’s not interested. If he says he wants our marriage to work out, what’s stopping him from doing something about it? What can I do to help this?

Best Answer: Honestly, I would just try to move on. Maybe if you didn’t answer his calls or see him he will turn around. You know, “you don’t know what you have till it is gone”. If you guys have been separated for a good amount of time and nothing has yet happened, I really don’t know what you are waiting for. When a person truly loves another they will do anything in their power to make it work. It doesn’t sound like he is trying as much as you.

• Darlin I think your done, I have seen you on here some and I don’t think your happy. maybe it was a passionate thing for awhile but maybe you 2 are just not really compatable, you seem like you want something different because he is to controlling, but you don’t want to give in because it hurts. But hey this roller coaster is just not going to work in everyday life, I was in one of those the sex is hot but I can’t stand ya deals too, lol. Move on and find a more comfortable spot in life.
• There is nothing that you can do. Either he’s willing to go through counseling and fix things or he’s not. From what you’ve said, it sounds as if he just wants to manipulate the situation back to one in which he is in control. Therapy/counseling is a threat to that objective and he knows it. I say move on. You deserve better.
• I wish that I could help. I am going through something similar but it doesn’t look like mine is ever going to settle down and we are just going to be at each other’s throats forever. I have wanted to work on the marriage as well be he refuses too so all I can say is hold your head up high and just everytime you talk to him let him see what he is missing out on.
• If he’s not interested in counseling then he’s not interested in altering the situation and ensuring what happened before does not happen again. I would leave him alone and tell him there is no possibility of a reconciliation until he agrees to counseling. Good luck.
• maybe the marriage is just too violent and passionate for him. there is nothing you can do. you might not be able to save your marriage.
• is easy why u cant stop that thing u think tha it was always causing u to fight. sorry to say that, but man if u do what he want there would be no any problem. take him into ur hand and after do what u want
• My guess is that he knows he can’t change. He wants to protect you. Maybe you should just let go and move on. I know it’s hard but it is probably best.
• You can move on. Cut him off. He can love you and still not want to be with you. Move on.
• it sounds like he still wants control. he says he loves you which keeps you hanging on but cant be with you so leaves him free to be with anyone he wants. cut your ties and move on
• get a divorce or mention it see if it nudges him to know you want him to man up or step off.
• Move on with your life!

  Why would you want to take this abusive man back?

  You know he is NOT going to change…

  ….don’t you?

• move on with ur life….he simply wants someone who will bear all his atrocities…doesnt want to change himself
  if u still havent got a divorce get one and move on with life
• Many relationships that are based on power and control wind up involving the police because abuse is not far behind. At this point, your safety is MUCH more important that your marriage.

  In my experience, most marital therapy begins with the wife coming in on her own first; sometimes the many gets scared — often because he hears her consider “divorce” or is worried she’s sharing the “secret” of the abuse — and then he comes in, too.

  By then, the wife is often ready to leave the marriage.

  I’d suggest you contact a women’s shelter or domestic violence organization to start getting some information. Be careful, though, he’s likely to escalate his control and abuse as he finds you beginning to even get information and support.

  Also, a place to look for a marital therapist is at www.aamft.org

  Good luck.

• You asked the question how can i save our marriage?
  To be honest i think it should be how can WE save our marriage, it is no good just one person trying to save a marriage it all comes down to it being a partnership you can put in as much effort as humanly possible but if your partner does not put in any effort then i am afraid you will be banging your head against a brick wall, i know you say that your husband is not interested in counselling but that is the hardest part to convince him to go, try getting something on the internet that he can read and maybe help him get his head around the fact that he does need counselling he maybe feels a little bit embarrassed about going to speek to a stranger about his problems but he may feel more comfortable about it if he can get the first part of the proccess going from his own home.
  It’s got to be worth a try, good luck and i hope you get through all this.
  I have found a wonderfull site that has all the help you can ever need just click the link below.
• In short, if your husband cannot commit to putting effort in to saving your marriage you cannot save it on your own.

  Marriage is a two way street and it doesn’t matter what you do, if he isn’t willing to put in the required work, it won’t work.

  I’m going through a similar situation myself and now I have come to the conclusion, after months of trying everything, blaming myself and being heartbroken, that he does not or cannot find it in himself to make it work, so I am letting him go, putting up no more fights and am going to do whats right for me.

  If your husband and mine, love us, they will find us when they feel able to communicate and then it can be sorted out one way or another, but for me, from now on for my own sanity, I am getting on with my life and taking the attitude that we don’t have a future, only he can change that now.

  Good Luck

• It takes two to be married but unfortunately, only one to be divorced. Learn from this so you don’t take this behaviour into your next relationship. He loves you???Pleeeeeeze…is this really good enough?? You deserve better than this, so does he. Get some help and move on. Good Luck!! www.creativedesignunlimited.com
• It sounds to me like life and fate have stepped in and given you multiple opportunities to get away from this guy and you are still co-dependent. You said it yourself… he does not want you, he wants to CONTROL you. This is not healthy, he says that he loves you but can not be with you… what is the point of that. You need to move on before things get weirder. Don’t be living some kind of Lifetime movie… meet a man that loves you and that CAN be with you and that actually likes you. Cops in a marriage is not normal… learn from this and find a new guy.

I am 27 years old and my husband is 26. We have been married for 3 years and together for 6. Our marriage is fine but his mom is constantly in our business. She try to make decisions for my husband, decisions that him and I should be making. His grandmother is the same way. These people was not like this before I married him, but time I married him things changed. When my husband and I moved from Mississippi to Texas, 2 weeks later his mom moved to Texas also and got an apartment next door to us. I don’t know what to do, I’m beginning to hate my in-laws and my husband for allowing it. I’m trying to stay strong b/c we have a 3 years old son together. Should I work on marriage or leave. Now, I want to move back to Mississippi but I know his mom is going to follow us back there. His mom is 43 years old and don’t work, all she do is sit at home everyday watching tv and getting foodstamps and living off her child support checks

Best Answer: Speaking from experience, sit your husband down and tell him that you’re unhappy with the current state of your marriage and how his family continues to be involved.

Stress to him that you are NOT making him choose between you and his mother, but when you two married that his responsibility now rests between the two of you – not you, him, his mama and grandmother.

Tell him that you have considered leaving and going back to Mississippi. Let him know that this is NOT the marriage that you signed up for. It isn’t fair to you and it isn’t fair to your marriage. Express that he will lose you if he continues to allow his mother to have a say with what goes on in YOUR HOME. YOU are the woman of the house – NOT HIS MAMA. You are married to HIM – NOT HIS MAMA.

His mother gets in your business because clearly she has nothing better to do with her time but be all in YOURS.

Perhaps suggest moving to another apartment on the other side of town and tellin his mama to stay where she is. Your marriage doesn’t stand a chance if she keeps it up.

• Tell your husband to stand up and tell his mother and grandmother to stay out of your marriage business, and he has one month to get this done.

  Tell him that if he hasn’t done that within a month, you’re leaving. Then leave if he doesn’t do it.

  You married a mama’s boy, usually those don’t have any backbones and it’s real hard to respect a man like that. Marriages don’t last unless you can respect your husband.

  His mom and grandmother are only doing this because HE allows them to. So leave, if he won’t stop it.

• Tell Her Your Going Sky Diving Then Really Get On An Airplane And Move To Where You Want To Go, But Not Back To Mississippi….She Will Find You. Or Get Up In Her Business And Make To So If She Sees You Again She Will Scream Her Head Off!
• Does your Mother in Law know that she’s not wanted? Does your hubby make her think that what she’s doing is helping?

  This is not about your Mother in Law, it is up to your hubby to talk to her.

• Leave him. Or threaten to, if he doesnt comply it is best to go and find another man. What are you doing tomorrow night?
• Your question is kinda confusing…Do you want to save you marriage or do you want a divorce? From reading further, I understand you want your husband to grow some balls and put his mom and grandmother where they are supposed to be, in their own place. If you can’t get him to do this, you may just have to move on…YOu and he need to make your own decisions and you do not need nor want their advice unless you ask for it. Talk to him and tell him how you are feeling and if he doesn’t make those changes, you and your son should move back to Mississippi. Your mother in law needs to get a life of her own..and she is receiving child support at 43? Sounds like she alittle lazy and would rather live off of her X husbands…Try to get your husband to open his eyes and maybe he will se what you do.
• you shouldnt leave over that

  talk to him about it and tell him that you think its hurting ur marrage

  Good Luck!

  and i hope this helps!

• this sucks i am so sorry for all this i would try to work it out but also tell him he has to help is he wants this marriage to work and people say stay together for the kids but don’t if you cant it is harder on the kid for you two to be mad at each other all the time
• You need to TALK to your husband about your feelings! If things are fine in your marriage then save it. OR, maybe you are using this as an excuse to leave??
• First and foremost – stay married. You can’t believe the pain that divorce causes and for how long. There’s too much to loose and too much for the others to be armed with if you give up.

  I would talk to your husband in a very calm voice, showing all respect and explain that you are uncomfortable with his parents living so close (physically and socially). The Bible teaches that a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. This is the definition of marriage.

  If you are outside of Biblical law (that is if you’re not sure if you were to die today you would go to heaven), then I would advise strongly that you and your husband find a church that teaches the truth about the Bible and what marriage means. Recalling that marriage is outlined in the Bible (Old Testament) and that is the institution that you’ve entered when you said, “I do”. I would recommend an independent fundamental Bible believing church that does not just tickle the ears.

  If you are within Biblical law, consider all the passages about divorce. Matt 5:32 comes to mind. P.S. read what that passage says about anyone who marries a divorced woman and think about it some more. Read also, Mark 10:10, 1 Cor 10:10. There are many others, but I don’t have my notes with me. In a nutshell, if you believe in Christ (and I don’t know where you are spiritually), Malachi 2:1 – God hates divorce.

• You need to have a talk with hubby. Tell him he can be a mama’s boy or his lady’s man, but not both.
• you need to make him realize that boundaries are in order, it’s healthy to have seperate lives. family can be a pain that’s why I’m glad mine is not close by, the phone is enuf except for holidays….
  get away from her asap and make him follow this “a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife” holy? not exactly but words of wisdom on what’s healthy for a marriage…YES!
• get counsling
• Well you shouldnt divorce just because you hate your mother in law… screw her…and well though your husband shouldn’t be allowing it, she is his mother and some momma’s boy would let their mommas do anything as long as they happy. But you really should talk to him and her.. Why are you going to let something go for a fat mother in law in the way.
• ok this is what i think you should do.. tell them <the mother and grandmother> that they are driving you crazy and could they plz back off for a while dont call as much!! Options: move far away, dont answer the phone, take a honeymoon, have another baby, tell them to please stop!! they are about to split yall up
• It is simple what you must do. YOu must tell your husband how you feel and then both yof you tell his mom and grandma how you both feel. Do not leave, stay and work on it.
• My in-laws were in my face a lot in my first marriage, they were obnoxious & hateful. I finally issued an ultimatum to my husband that I wanted out of the marriage if he didn’t stand up to them. He developed some backbone, told them to lay off, etc. If they wanted to visit us, they had to make an appointment. That worked for the rest of our marriage. What has to happen is that since that is your HUSBAND’s mom, HE has to be the one to tell her to back off. Good luck!
• Tell his mom to F off!!!
• If you want to save your marriage, to stop wanting a divorce would be the first step.
• Since the problem is mainly with your in-laws and not your husband, then yes, you should work on it. You should sit your husband down and have a very serious conversation with him about how he is allowing his family to interfere. Let him know how much this affecting you and destroying your marriage. He may not be aware that you’re so upset about it. You need to give your marriage every chance in the world to survive this. You should try to spend as little time around them as possible because sometimes that is the reason you start getting irritated with people. Good luck to you and your marriage.
• Oh my! You poor woman! Maybe counseling can help your husband to get a backbone when it comes to his mother. He should stand up to her and tell her to BUTT OUT! Good luck and God Bless!
• This is simple to answer when your a person like looking at this relation ship from the outside. You don’t see the answer because you are in the realationship. Your love for your husband wont let you see what the answer is. Your husband is putting what his mother thinks and her feelings before your own. That’s not right at all. I had to cut my mother out of my life to make things work with my wife! My mother was being mean to my wife,since my mother was not willing to change, I had a choice to make my mother or my wife. In the end I chose my wife.
  Talk to your husband tell him how you feel. If he does not make a choice between his wife or his mother then you have to move on . If I did it then I know its possible and I’m sure I’m not the only one who had to make that choice. But if your married and you really love your wife you do whatever it takes to make things work out. If your husband can’t do that then you need to leave. Why stay unhappy because you have a son. Your son is going to see you unhappy and fighting all the time so what good is it to stay married? There is someone out there that will give you the love and affection you want in a man. Don’t force your self to be unhappy. Life is too short.
  P.S me and my wife broke up for a year. We ended up getting back together and now we are happily married for 13 years now! So talk to your husband,and don’t cheat on him that will only make things worst trust me I been down that road too! I hope you find some happiness in your life.
  Good Luck
• you married him didn’t you know it was gonna be like that, it’s simple them or you.
• omg shes a freak. i tihnk you should talk to your hubbie about this problem and how it affects you!
• I can understand your concern with all this, but all I can tell you is everyone is different. Your marriage is you and him, not her. Yes I know it doesn’t help her following your move, but you need to do some serious thinking. If you truly love him you will find a way to accept him for who he is and what he does as well as his mother, or if you do not think you can handle this then get out of the marriage now. Follow your heart, it will not steer you wrong.
• It goes back to the book of Genesis. You have to leave and you have to cleave. In other words you have to separate yourselves from your parents emotionally and physically and you have to stick to each other like glue.

  It sounds like your mother-in-law can’t let her son leave. He needs to man up.

• It sounds like it’s not your husband you want to divorce. His family are getting a bit too close for comfort. How does your husband feel about his mother following you and moving in next door?
  You talk to your husband first then talk to his mother. Be open and honest but not angry. State clearly what the boundaries are. Only move back to Mississipi if you want to and not just to get away from mother in law. Moving house or location will not make a problem with family disappear.
  You owe it to your child to set clear family boundaries.

  Wishing you best of luck x

• google
• Hate is a pretty strong emotion, maybe you really dislike their behavior rather. My sister is married to a mamma’s boy, has been for 17 years and her dislike has turned to bitter self pity, I personally think. Her MIL even slapped my mom at her wedding, calling my sis a ***** and saying she was not good enough for her son. She married him anyhow. He works for his family and wont move anywhere away from them. Every holiday is at their house and they hate my sister. She stays home often when the holidays come around anymore. She stays for her kids I think but they are almost grown and she started working recently in the hotel industry and I secretly think she is planning her escape. He wont do anything or say anything against his mom and she is a controlling MIL.

  p.s. I have a great MIL, love her, party with her even, she tells my hubby that if he ever loses me she will disown him. She loves me

• I don’t think its something that you should get a divorce over. But; your husband does need to grow up and tell his mom enough is enough, he has his own life now and his mama’s boy antics aren’t cutting it. Visiting family is one thing but having them live next door is another. They always know your problems and desperately try to help you even when you don’t need it. Tell him that his mom needs to get over herself and get her own life if not you really don’t know where you fit into his life. Good Luck.
• go to a professional

im continously loosing interest in being physically active ..with my spouse . Can you help me there?

Best Answer: escape for a bit, take a romantic vacation just the 2 of you. Make it for at least 2 weeks if you can. Leave the kids, jobs, bills, and all other worries behind. Spend the time together and rekindle the love that each of you have for the other.

• Force yourself to do it – Having sex makes you want more sex.
• ask doctor
• Why is it happening? You have to be truthfull to yourself.
  Is there someone else in your thoughts?Perhaps a past boyfriend that you haven’t quite got over.
  Well, you have to choose him and close your mind to anybody else. Look for his qualities, and by helping him develop them futher, your feelings for him will get stronger and it will help you feeling more attracted to him.
• try another and see how that feels.
• The real question is.. What is making you lose interest in your Husband? Is he not physically attractive to you anymore? Is the sex good? Those are questions you should ask yourself. If your answer to more than one of those questions is No.. then reevaluate your relationship. Take some time to get back what the two of you once had. Make time for just you and your Husband to spend time together getting to know each other all over again.. sexually.
• Yep, pray and go to counseling.
• You need to remember why you married him and how much you love him. If there is love and you are willing to work at your marriage you will feel attracted to your spouse physically. I feel very attracted to my husband because I love him and he makes me very happy.
• I would go to a counselor so she can be the one to let him know that he is not mentally stimulating you. Or somehow find a way to tell him to use more conjunctions in your conversations. Sounds like he’s being neglectful. Bookstores have great books with easy ideas about this.
• Talk to your doctor about any medications you may be taking. Some will really kill your libido.
• My solution is getting away either for a weekend trip or a romantic week long trip. Usually when people are away from home they are more relaxed and maybe the sparks might be rekindled. Below is a link to saving your marriage. Take a look at it…you both are worth trying to save something that was ONCE great and in the hopes that it will again soon.
• You did not leave much information. This dose happen some times with age. Some times forget to keep up the dating. Think of the things that the two of you use to do when you where dating.Drugs sometimes dose this. Talk to your doctor. There is so many things that can happen to the two of you.the way you write dose sounds like the two of you are in love.
• Ahhhh JD is right, there are a LOT of medications that will suppress your libido. Call your pharmacist or doctor and run your medications down to them and see if any that you may be taking has a sexual suppressing side effect
• if you know what it is that is making you lose interest talk it out with your spouse. and try to work on it together.
• I agree with SAM
• question to you is why do you feel this way. Is it because you are not physically attracted to your husband? Or you have experienced a decline in your sex drive? Do you not feel comfortable about the way you look? Is it something your husband did, that makes you dislike him? It is all fixable, but you need to be more specific on the “Why” you are losing interest.
• as u eat food as u drink
  the sex after marrige is a requsite
  maybe u r affraid of sumthing
  but there is nothing to affraid and u can do tat
  go head and face it.
  dont shy it will make your life more enjoyable
• Go to counseling.
• you should take a vacation, maybe everything has become a routine for you now and that’s not good… do things that you don’t do anymore, get a hobby or go to school again, go on a cruise, get new friends, and if that don’t work get a marriage counselor or family therapist…
• Not interested in sex at all, or only with him?

  It makes a huge difference on figuring out why your libido has dropped. If you don’t want it at all, you need to evaluate your living situation and change things like the amount of sleep you’re getting. Sleep deprivation can kill your libido.

  If it’s only with him then you’ve got a much larger problem & there would be no way to give advice on how to fix it without knowing why you are falling out of love.

• Get out of the same routine; try something different. A little teasing and playing will make it more fun; like when you first were attracted to each other. Don’t give up as the more you pull away, the more often you will pull away. Kind of like if you don’t use it, you lose it.
• listen, really
  you can’t force yourself at all. you either want it or you don’t. if your going to stay married, fake it till you make it.
  you won’t be truly happy though, you should just move on b/c there may be someone that’s really better for you and your husband to be with