How Do I Save My Marriage

Suggest counseling with no voluntary action from him. I mention we dont talk about anything. He says there is no problem but this week 500 and bills are not paid?
Job in jeopardy. I struggle daily to feel alive he is never home before dark always with his dealer.

Best Answer: FIRST LET ME START OFF BY SAYING THAT I’M SORRY THAT THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU. NOW EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU TO LEAVE HIM. IT’S EASIER TO SAY THAN TO DO. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS I SHOULD KNOW AND I’M ONLY 25 HE’S 40. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE ALL OF THE TIME. I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU TO TAKE HIM TO A REHAB CUZ THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT HIM IF HE IS NOT WILLING TO GO. I’M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU TO CALL THE COP’S ON HIM OR THE DRUG DEALER CUZ YOUR HUSBAND CAN FIND DRUGS IN JAIL AND THERE WILL ALWAYS BE DRUGS ON THE STREETS. BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS HIS DRUG IS HIS WIFE NOW HE HAS TO SUPPORT HER AND BE DEVOTED TO HER. THIS MAY BE THE HARDIEST THING TO DO BUT IF YOU LEAVE AND COME BACK YOU MIGHT COME BACK TO A EMPTY HOME. WHAT YOU CAN DO IS THIS EITHER TAKE HIM ON A TALK SHOW AND LET THEM HELP HIM OR SIGN HIM IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL IT WILL BE FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS BUT IF YOU WANT TO SAVE HIM THIS IS SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TOBE DONE YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS IF YOU ARE HIS LEGAL WIFE. BECAUSE HE IS COMMTING SUICIDE BUT IT’S JUST SLOWLY.

• Leave and go quick
• Get out before he drags you down. do you realize that if there are drugs in your house and he is busted that they can seize all of your possessions? Even if you are not doing drugs. Get away, get a divorce, and if there is no love then it should be a clean and easy break for you. Good Luck.
• Yes you should. But you will go to hell if you do.
• You know the answer…you are just looking for reassurance. You can not help someone if they are not willing to help themselves, no matter how badly you want it. It hurts, it isn’t easy, but it is for the best.
• you should divorce him asap! he is worthless.
• immediately
• you are enabling this person. Behavior won’t change until you do. Do you know the definition of insanity? Repeating the same behavior and expecting different results.

  Face it now. Get him to rehab if you can. This works sometimes, sometimes it doesn’t. Call a professional right away.

• You should get out of that situation as soon as possable. You are putting yourself at great risk. Also you will probally have to get a restraining order, and start your life on a blank page. Try you best not to fall into the same trap again.
• what marriage?
• Find a good network of friends who can be with you during this touch time. Stay strong and get away quick.
• You should hook up with a group known as Al-Anon, this is for family and friends of those afflicted with this addiction and they have been where you are already and have overcome the situation.
• I’d take my money and split. Him and the dealer can take care of one another for all I care..or OD, get busted…whichever comes first but I wouldn’t stick around to find out.

I am a christian, a virgin, and saving myself till marriage. I am wanting a tattoo that symbolizes this. I don’t really want a tattoo that is too big or anything.. but yea any ideas??

Best Answer: First of all, do you plan on never getting married b/c tattoos are permanent.

Second, isn’t getting a tattoo considered “desecrating your body” by most religions?

• i am a christian, and i wouldn’t say that getting a tattoo is against my religion. other religions it definately is, and i guess it could depend on what type of christian you are – but i am a catholic and i have been told by my priest that it does not state in the Bible that tattoos are forbidden – but the Bible does say to treat your body well and to keep it pure, so maybe it conflicts with this. i think it is a personal thing – if you feel it doesn’t conflict with your beliefs, especially if ur getting the tattoo BECAUSE of ur religion (i have a cross and i don’t see how that can be wrong in the eyes of God!) anyway about your tattoo!! i think a quote from the Bible would be very nice, maybe on ur wrist?? but i would think carefully about what scripture to use – first think about ur true reason to keep your virginity and then find scripture to match- if u get a tattoo without full meaning to u, u will probably end up not liking it, even if it is 10 years down the road. a tattoo is permanent, so make sure it says (even if u dont get words) what u want it to say. a quote about staying marrying to avoid ‘burning in lust’ for example (corinthians 7:8-9), probably wouldn’t suit ur reason very well! maybe ‘whatever is pure, let your mind dwell on these things’. or ‘who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? he that hath clean hands and a pure heart’.
• AHHHHHHHH!!! OMG I just got this done a week ago, anyways. I got my purity tat of a purple and yellow bumblebee and i had two wings included; one that said virginity and the second wing will get filled with the name of my first child. mine is on my pelvic bone and I am sooo happy that my mom let me get mine, and actually it was really hard to convince her since shes all, god didn’t make man to put ink in our bodies, then I came back with a scripture that actually stated that the bible partakes in spiritual modification, i.e. tattoos and piercings, and she was soooo freakin speechless.
  Hope this freakin helps and good luck with choosing your tat
• If you are saving yourself for marriage, then aren’t you religious? If so, isn’t getting tattooed against your religion?
• Maybe a tattoo of a purity ring or a snowflake (I’m pretty sure snowflakes symbolise purity but you might want to check that on google).
• How about a Christianity fish, or white dove (Means pure and complete with love), or lotus (Purity). Let us know what you pick please.
• a cherry with a promise ring over it like a halo
• How about a chastity belt?
• A glow in the dark tattoo! Google it
• “No ******* till I commit.”
• get a penis with a censor sign through it.
• uhmmm a small cross on your finger would be cute
• i thnk no need for a tatoo
  i am even virgn

My wife and I have been going through some problems and I don’t know how to give her the space that she needs without letting her disrespect me. When she went out sunday to go to church and a women’s group I waited 5hrs to call her she was gone a total of 7+ hrs and turned her cell phone off when she promised me if I needed her that I could reach her. When she later turned up she played everything off as if everything could be validated, but how do you just dissappear for 7+ hours and not speak with your husband. I was sick at home taking care of our kids and had yet still planned for us to have a very special evening together and she showed up way too late for us to enjoy it. What the F&*********!!!!!

Best Answer: It sounds like you don’t go to this church, even when your not sick. Try it. You should both have to account for long absenses.

• You need to work on communication. You want her to answer your calls, she doesn’t know you planned a dinner…
  In all honesty, 7 hours isn’t that long.
  Couseling could really help…suck it up and try it!
• Yes, and you don’t go out to work for 8+ hours during the week without talking to her. Oh please, give me a break. She’s an adult and you’re disrespecting her if you can’t handle her going out for the day. The kids and the house? Just as much yours as it is hers. You’re supposed to be her partner and her equal, not her lord, leader and head of the house. Get over yourself. Learn to be secure in your relationship. Right now, you sound like an insecure little man who no doubt is abusive towards his wife.
• Just be cool and remember that she is an adult too. She is probably acting out so try and sit down with her and talk. Did you really need her or you just wanted to know she’s at your beck and call whenever you need her? Listen to your woman! Maybe you need to find something to do that you enjoy that helps you have your personal time while she’s having her’s.
• Well then, You are the man of the house and it seems time to put your foot down. She is not meeting your need for respect are you meeting her need for love? I’m not saying Go about it in a macho jerk way you just need to tell her she is neglecting you and the children and the buck stops here. Tell her if she wants to be married to you then it’s time to start acting like it. Buy her the book or the cd sets of Love and Respect by Emmerson Eggrich. Tell her you want her to be happy and you want a happy marriage and it’s time to start makeing that happen some good old fashion christian counseling wouldn’t hurt either. Good Luck
• You’re the man… You should talk to your wife
  she can’t do whatever she wants
  After marriage, world is becoming you and her…. you guys have to work out each other… especially you’re the head of family…. I think she desn’t respect you at all as your husband.
  Talk to her and ask her nicely not to do such of things anymore….
• I hate to give you the same old advice, but see if she will go to counceling. She can play her **** off as if she’s done nothing wrong and youre the problem, but the councelor will call her on it. Only then will she maybe start to discuss the real issue.

  Was she really at church?

Has anyone else who’s marriage is on the rocks taken the Love Dare? Did it work? Any advice?

Background: My marriage is failing. We have been in counseling for over a year but its not working. I am no longer in love with my husband, neither of us have respect for each other. He is verbally abusive, I am cold and distant. We have two very small children.

I am at my wits end and have asked for a separation twice – both times he begged me to stay. Recently I watched the movie Fireproof and have asked my husband to watch it and take the Love Dare challenge with me in hopes to change ourselves to better our marriage. We both agreed and will start today.

Best Answer: I have done it, and advice it to many..yes its great..you should follow it..Dont fall off do the entire process it will be worth it..

• I did not like how in the movie, the woman really accepted no blame or showed no remorse for the things she did wrong.

  Marriage is a two way street, you both have to re-connect and that takes work by BOTH of you!

  Sure, in the movie, he was most of the problem, but normally there is fault on both sides.

  Good luck and God Bless you both for trying to save your marriage!

• I don’t listen to Kirk Cameron about bananas, so I don’t think I’d find his other opinions worth listening to either

  But I hope it helps your marriage. I really hate the casual attitude about divorce in the country

• I have no idea what the “Love Dare” is.

  I’ll look it up and get back to you.

  Ok.

  Looks interesting for those of a religious bent.

  I hope it works for you both and brings you closer.

• Great movie!

  My brother did and swears by it.

we dont have a bad marriage but we argue of money and lack of jobs where we live.

Best Answer: You both have to commit to make the marriage work, do not think things will just fix themselves. It is very common for married couples to argue about money. Seek out a marriage counselor.

Good luck.

• Marriage will only work if two people want it to work. Where you reside is just geography.
• Yes I would think it would…if all you argue about is money then for the sake of your marriage, move somewhere there are jobs available.
• It could. My husband and I had problems with not being able to find good jobs and living around all of his high school drinking buddies and ex girlfriends. We moved and now we don’t hardly fight at all. If you fight about money then you need to set down some rules..moving won’t help that.
• Well if you relocate to where there is jobs, that is one issue taken care of. You probably should go through marriage counseling and talk about money issues. I know in my church they have a work book on that. It talks about attitudes we have towards money and how to work together on it.

  Marriage is about give and take and learning to get along with our differences.

  What are your attitudes about children?

• If you are fighting about money and jobs that is normal. Finding a solution together to solve to money problem will help your marriage. If you find a job that takes you away from where you live now its just a part of the solution.
  Guess you should just try to find a solution, for your problems. The marriage will work when you work together at life.
• Marriage has nothing to do with geography. Saving a marriage comes from what is in the marriage. Marriage takes work.
• Why not as long you both really work at it . It only will work if you want to . Its not about jobs , its about trust , respect , honesty , reliability , accountability , and so on . Good luck and go for it . Life is about the chances you take in life .
• Absolutely–if you both want it.

  Get excited about it…do research together to determine where to move and which job markets will work for both of you.

  Stop fighting about money. It will end a marriage quickly.

  Good luck to both of you.

• No matter what your surroundings are, where they are, none of that matters…..no matter where you go, your problems are still the same problems, they don’t go away.
• No. If you aren’t getting along or just no longer want to be together, it doesn’t matter where you live. You may only just postpose the break up, but it will still come.
• You can’t run away from your problems. They’ll just catch up to you. Deal w/them in the here and now before making major decisions like moving.
• It’s possible.

  But it seems to me it would be wiser to deal with your problems and live within your financial means.

  But if the two of you make a plan, and adapt that plan as circumstances change, you will do fine.

  Good luck.

• How will relocating change anything? You will not be “starting a new life” you will be dragging old issues around…you cant move away from problems.
• The main problem (if you can call it a “problem”) in my marriage is the fact that where we live, there are NO jobs for my husband’s degree. I am going to medical school this fall, so it may mean relocating. He isn’t happy with his job, but we are toughing it out until we see where we are going.

  If there are no kids involved (many have trouble adjusting to new schools) I don’t see a problem moving to a place where there are better job opportunities. I would go ahead and apply for jobs in the area you are moving to, and as soon as you get them, move.

  I know alot of people said that problems are going to exist no matter where you move, and that is true. But I don’t see any point living somewhere where there are never any jobs open except telemarketing!